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I'm trying to regrain some stability in my life and I'm hoping this will help again.

I am a perfectly imperfect sentient ball of stardust.

On tiny victory is all I need.

Latest Entry

Entry 799: A Chill In My Bones

November 12, 2021
There is a chill in my bones that I can't quite seem to shake. My intrusive thoughts are taking up more space in my head than they should. No longer whispers of smoke or trees zipping by like I'm riding a train. No, these are more brick walls in front of my eyes with no…
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Recent Entries

  • Entry 798:
    November 4, 2021
    I've been having a lot in intrusive thoughts recently. I have not followed the instructions of one. I have not wanted to. But I have been having them. Most have been "aaaaand step" as I'm waiting at a pedestrian crossing and a car goes passed. Or ones to that effect. I've been doing more each&hel...
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  • Entry 797: Seen & Heard.
    October 13, 2021
    I need to remember these words. I am seen. I am heard. I am valid. Its easy to forget those three statements especially when you don't feel heard or seen, which in turn does not make you feel valid at all.  My experiences lead people to come to me for advice. I can only do…
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  • Entry 796:
    October 7, 2021
    I'm tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I'm just so tired. I'm full of cold so that doesn't help. I've not slept well in... years. I have suffered with insomnia since at least 14/15. I needed help then, not to be ignored and given ultimatums. I have been the doctors. I have had medication, ...
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  • Entry 795: A Forest Of Trees
    October 7, 2021
    The lumberjack won't remember every tree it cuts down, but that doesn't mean the tree didn't die.  I realise now, why, when I asked my parents about any trauma in my past, they laughed and said there was none.  It is because they do not remember every tree they cut down.  They are the lumberjack,...
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  • Entry 794: A Bad Day
    October 6, 2021
    In all honesty, it hasn't been a bad day. Not really. I mean, okay, I've had worse.  I mean to say, I'm not allowed to have a bad day if my wife is having a bad day because her day is worse. I'm not allowed to have a bad day if my wife is having…
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  • Entry 793: Parent Complaints
    October 5, 2021
    I've written about my dad before. Not much, not often, but I have written about him before. He was not a nice man when I was growing up. I have no scars on my body from him, but he was not a nice man.  I'm worried that I will be like him when I have…
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  • Entry 792: Unnamed
    October 5, 2021
    Work seems better today. No more emails, but I still don't want to be here. Yesterday my wife and I went out with some friends. They've just gotten married and part of the present we got them was 99 date ideas. All colour coded in tiny little message bottles, wrapped up like scrolls.  The first o...
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  • Entry 791: Work is Work is Work
    October 4, 2021
    Work is work.  I checked my emails and there are two that stand out. One from my manager to all staff stating what we know is true. That the building I currently am security for will be closing in the next few years. The owners aren't continuing with the lease or something so the company…
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  • Entry 790: It Was Not My Fault.
    September 28, 2021
    It's raining currently. It has been for at least a day now.  My mum messaged me before about the thunder and lightening. I said that it wasn't where I was but my wife had messaged saying it was at home. I had a look on the camera by our front door and saw the flash…
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