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Pain & Poetry

May 12, 2019
What do I want? I want the woman I love to care more about loving me than what may or may not happen. It hurts that she doesn't. It hurts that she chose fear over love. It hurts that she doesn't and didn't include me in her life. It hurts that I was just a…
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Recent Entries

  • (Still) Haven’t Met You Yet
    October 12, 2018
    My Lady, I am waiting for you, have been waiting for you my entire life. From time to time I thought that I had met you, that I had held countless doors for you. I will never think she was less than an amazing woman, but she wasn't you. I can't wait to see your…
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  • My Match, etc, Profile
    September 27, 2018
    I'm working on getting back into the dating scene, at least by putting myself out there on online dating sites. I miss Craigslist, to be honest, where you were initially judged by words alone. I just thought I'd share what I decided to say. Easy criticism, my profile is extremely verbose. I did i...
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  • Grieving
    September 24, 2018
    No one tells you how lonely that first major grocery shopping trip After Her is going to be. I am reminded of the jar filled with ping pong balls and beads and sand and water. For the uninitiated: The jar is life. First fill it with ping pong balls? Is it full? Sure. Pour some…
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  • As the Sun Sets
    August 2, 2018
    I am waiting. I care, so I am waiting. She's taking a summer class and gets overwhelmed by her emotions easily. We both know that the romance is over, but we both love, we both care, so we are waiting to discuss the end. The 16th, her class comes to its conclusion and her 6…
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  • Asset 6
    All Problems in Two Questions
    July 10, 2018
    A relationship advice blogger and life coach, Jordan Gray, recently posted an article titled, "All of Your Problems Boil Down to These Two Questions". It's an interesting read and I am a big fan of his work, so I thought maybe I'd explore those two questions for myself and see where I got. If you...
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  • To Write Again
    May 22, 2018
    How I would love to talk to you of sunlight as yellow paint dripping down a skyblue canvas. I want to tap into the image of maples and oaks stretching out their leaves in my favorite yoga asana breathing our waste in deeply, breathing out life as we know it and quietly making dryads of…
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  • Four Years Later
    May 8, 2018
    What a strange thing. Was it really only four years ago? Bizzare. You may have known me then, or years prior, when I was RenOrsino. This isn't one of those posts though. I'm writing because I need catharsis and I wasn't going to achieve it in short form. -break- The voice inside me is quiet…
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  • The Migration
    November 24, 2013
    I'm joining the migration, the Flying V formation (go Mighty Ducks!) and slipping on a new pair of gloves. I'm off to be a Proseboxer, middle weight champion of internetual public self-adulation. I tend to do things in multiples, so what I post there I may very well copy paste here, but Open Diar...
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  • After the Fall – winter poem
    November 17, 2013
     After the Fall   The evergreens, brave sailors all, ride full sail into the first snow, beams bent from proud masts as they weather the season's storms, charted on an immutable course toward spring.    The deciduous, already winter-moored, make of the forest a quiet harbor wh...
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