From ‘I do’ to ‘I don’t’

Together since December 2012.

Married May 13, 2017.

We’ve had problems for awhile. She won’t communicate.

I asked her if she wanted a divorce December 2018. She said yes.

I moved out January 13, 2019, from the home we bought together in March 2018.

She told me she was going to start the divorce papers on May 14, 2019.

I signed the first set of papers last week, May 21, 2019.

How do I let go when all I want is the life we planned together?

_devastated and heartbroken.

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May 26, 2019

This is a difficult time in your life and it will pass.  You will grieve and rightfully so.  I am so sorry it didn’t work out for you.  Never stay where you not wanted, you are worth much more than that.

May 26, 2019

@nativewoman thanks. Wise words. It’s so hard.

May 26, 2019

I wanted the exact same thing when I met my ex but after 9 or 10 years he just wouldn’t be a dad.  He thought not working and drinking beer and smoking pot was the way to go.  But fortunately he didn’t fight for his son and I still have him…he is 33 now.  I had all these plans for us as a family but the ex didn’t want any part of it.  It’s hard and it will always be one of those things you wonder why everything turned out the way it did.  I can tell you even after all these years I still can’t figure out why the ex didn’t want to be a dad and I will never be able to ask him because he died a few years ago.

May 26, 2019


thanks for your response. She says she doesn’t know what she wants. She feels lost and broken. Yet she needs to divorce me? She doesn’t really give reasons why she’s not willing to keep trying. If there was a reason, maybe I’d understand more. All I know is I feel like I’m losing it, devastated, a mess, and it’s a loss of the life I worked so hard to be a better person for.

May 26, 2019

@beckyhut Have you asked her why she feels lost and broken?  There has to be a reason….And then tell her what you told me here…how hard you are trying to work at this relationship?

May 26, 2019

@jaythesmartone Unfortunately, she says she doesn’t know why she feels this way. Either she doesn’t know or she’s not willing to communicate it for whatever reason. She says “you did everything you could possibly do. It’s not your fault.” So I’m just left with the loss.

May 26, 2019

@beckyhut I hope she will still be your best friend and maybe something will develop later?

May 26, 2019

So sorry you are going through this. A break up is one of the most difficult thing for a human to go through.  So many lost hopes and dreams. I will keep you in my prayers.

June 7, 2019

@thespiritwithinme Thank you. It means a lot!

I won’t say anything but I will send you hugs.

June 7, 2019

@seablue4u Thank you so much. Hugs back at you.

May 31, 2019

My husband and I are having a hard time right now because of the communication piece. I wish we all had the answers. xoxo

June 7, 2019

@stargazer Communication is so hard! But so important! Sometimes I think it’s hard for us to communicate within ourselves what’s going on for ourselves just as much as it is hard to communicate with others.