I CAN’T SLEEP
I can’t sleep because I was busy thinking about what I would do if I got a divorce. I don’t care anymore! I’ve had it for almost fifty years and it’s enough. I will NOT shed another tear over my hubby. I will do what I want and he can go to hell. I am just so fed up. I am sorry our kids are coming tomorrow because we will have to act happily married. I have a feeling that they won’t be surprised if and when we tell them. Right now I will not do anything. I will just go on the way I have been doing but I will care a little less about him. I will not worry about being home, preparing his meals etc. I will not come to the trailer very often unless it suits me. I know I will be happier at home.
While I was trying to fall asleep I was thinking about where I would move to, what I would take with etc. I don’t have any idea right now but if I had to I could figure it out quite quickly.
I hope he will apologize but he never has so why should he now.
I sure hope I like the bike but if not so what??????I’ll just return it. He can tell me that he was right and I’ll tell him to go to hell. Who cares?
Money should not be an issue because he has plenty unless he plays real dirty which is very possible. One thing I will NOT give money to the lawyers. I start taking money from my RRSP in January. Maybe that’s enough. I have no idea. I would have to see a financial planner that’s for sure.
Maybe I would move into a senior residence so I wouldn’t be alone. On the other hand I will probably love living alone. My whole condo would be my craft/art studio and I would probably be happy like a pig in shit.
I know I am jumping way ahead but I don’t know. I didn’t get any reaction when I said we should not stay together. I don’t know if he was shocked or not.
I will just play it cool. I will not bring anything up. Maybe I should…………………………..
My life is pretty good so maybe I’ll just get on with my life and see what pans out.
I can let him go to Florida and I can stay here alone. I think I would be fine. I would join courses, volunteer etc.
When it would be too cold to go out I would just stay in. I could manage. There are grocery stores to order from so I wouldn’t even have to go out in bad weather. I prefer being cold than hot so I don’t think it would be a big problem.
Anyhow for sure I’m not doing anything about it tonight. As usual the ball is in his court. He might surprise me and admit that we should divorce. I would be shocked but you never know. He thinks a lot but says little.
So that’s the story so far.
TO DIVORCE OR NOT DIVORCE! THAT IS THE QUESTION!
From my experience, if I am asking the question, the answer is ‘yes’. For me anyway. I couldn’t say about anyone else. Except, why bother? Just write up an agreement with terms of separation, sign it, and move on. Why let the lawyers have anything?
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it seems you have several options and money to help, so you should be ok in that sense. all the best whatever you do. hugs p
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okay, i suppose the two of you could live separate lives but not divorce. he could go to camp, you could stay home. he could go to florida, you could stay home. you could live your life and he could live his. don’t know if you two still sleep in the same bed but you or he could move to another bedroom. you could let him take care of his things.. laundry, getting his own meals, you could take careof your things. no need to divorce if it’s too much trouble. you could live separate lives. or you could go out on your own and start over. up to you. take care,
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A hard decision for you for sure. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
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At the risk of asking a question you’ve already answered… would he be willing to go to couples counselling with you? If not, would you consider going alone? Although it sounds like you’ve pretty much made up your mind about a future with your husband… this would provide some additional “thinking it through with feedback” time. P.S. I left and then divorced my husband… I was younger, it was only 11 years, and he was gay and an alcoholic – so it’s hardly comparable!
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You should divorce him if just being with him is irritating to you. Living in the same house but each of you doing your own thing is still going to have you being WITH him a lot. As long as you have been married, and he seems to have plenty of money, he will certainly have to pay you enough alimony to live well on. Good luck with whatever you decide. hugs, Nicky
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There’s plenty of older people who just live their own seperate lives without an actual divorce… you don’t have to be tied at the hip just because you’re married. Or you could actually get a divorce and start over – after as many years as you’ve been married and not working, you’ve got to get support from him. (huggles)
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*hugs*
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Take the time you need to decide what the best route is for you. Do what you need to do for you right now. Love,
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Take a holiday, by yourself for a month (or even a couple of weeks). See how you like it. Don’t call anyone or go home. Try out a new life.
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all I know is, I am a lot happier person since I got divorced and I was married for 26 years, not a short amount of time. I am poor but happy, when I was “rich” with him I was miserable. Money isn’t everything, it is amazing how I am able to get by with so little, never thought I could do it but I did.
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What a tough situation to be in. I hope you get clear answers soon.
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I agree with Silverkitty up there. If both of you are so unhappy why not try living apart? You both need some space away from each other. You might be surprised that you miss each other. You will never know unless you try.
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Have you come to any decisions on this? I too wonder with those who suggest that you live apart for a month or so. Could you both try that? I think it’ll be a good test! It’s a rough situation for you to be in.
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