SAD-OK

I just found out that my nephew is getting divorced for the second time. To be honest I didn’t think they would last. They are not even married two years. I am sure my sister must be very upset but what can you do. I don’t think marriage is practical or possible the way it was years ago. I am not sure what should be done but I don’t think couples should get married and have children. It’s not fair to the children.

Maybe we should all live in communes or kibbutzes like they did in Israel. THIS WAY KIDS ARE BROUGHT UP BY A GROUP OF ADULTS SO IF THE PARENTS GET DIVORCED THE CHILDREN WOULD NOT BE DEVASTATED.

Years ago women and men were dependent on each other. Women for financial support and men for someone to care for their children and home. This is not the case anymore.

So my advice to youngsters is DON’T GET MARRIED. SCREW AROUND and HAVE FUN. I don’t know what to say about having children.

I have absolutely NO FAITH in marriage. I guess I am just a pessimist.

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But you’re married aren’t you? Divorce is always a sad and painful thing. Heartbreaking. I have been close to a few couple who were divorcing and it’s so hard. I hope your nephew gets lots of support from his family.

December 17, 2008

Well, I LOVE being married and I know that my husband would say the same thing. I think the thing is people jump into it without REALLY thinking and taking the time to know the other person. Plus I think selfishness has a lot to do with it, the key is to always put the other person first. If BOTH people do it it is wonderful! Honest!

December 17, 2008

Marriage is an obsolete institution, women do not need to be married anymore as they are financially independent these days and being single does not have the stigma it used to have. Besides it is unrealistic to expect to be with the sane person for over 50 years or more, people live longer now, people used to die before they were 40 so you were not stuck that long with one person. If you marry when you are 20 and live to be 90, that’s 70 years! No one could last that long with one person, could they? Most likely not.

December 17, 2008

I have never been married and even though I want to be married I have a feeling it’s fopr all the wrong reasons…The more I am with my guy I am learning that he really does love me and will not deviate elsewhere. I just think I want that peice of paper that says he is mine forever and that ring…I am begining to think the ring is all I need..but then what do I Know?

December 17, 2008

Ya know, I think you pinpointed the cause of the high divorce rate perfectly. A couple has to actually NEED one another. Otherwise they decide “this isn’t worth the trouble.” Joe and I have a very traditional marriage and that is one reason it’s lasted. I expect that is true in your case as well! hugs, Weesprite

No; you’re not a pessimist. You are a realist. I was married for 26 years. I married during a time when women had no real opportunities, not “average” women anyway. Plus, I bought all the hoopla about how MY marriage would be different. If the Civil Rights Act in 1964 had been enforced regarding women’s rights and newsworthy, I probably would’ve only been married for one year. Personally, Idon’t know of a good halfway decent, long term marriage.

December 18, 2008

I think unless the relationship was extremely abusive…the children would be devastated either way. It’s still a break down of their family. Some of those communes are into plural marriages and group marriages, I don’t find that any more positive for a child. But I do understand, there are times I would back up the truck to my own wedding day and run like hell. But I’m here, made my bed,have kids who deserve a stable family so I suck it up. I’m sorry about your nephew.

I agree with you 100%. I have been married same man for 46 years soon to be 47. Now we are old and the men think its the wifes duty to continue to care for them no matter how sick they themselves are. If I had it to do over I would never marry and our world is so over populated I think every couple should be limited to 1 or 2 children. We have all these immagrints moving in here everyday real Catholics who believe in dozens of children. Thats too much. They will soon be the majority over here. I am sorry I took so long to add you but I have been sick for a month.

December 18, 2008

Do they have children?

December 18, 2008

I guess I’m just an eternal optimist. I think marriage is a wonderful God-ordained institution. I think if both people are committed to each other, they can have a wonderful marriage. I think the problem is selfishness when the “I” is more important than the “we.” I agree somewhat about the kids. Since I’m a counselor with kids, I’ve seen them traumatized both ways – by a divorce, and by parents who don’t love each other staying together. I guess it’s a catch 22.

December 18, 2008

I think marriage needs to be taken more seriously and we don’t do that in this society. Celebrity examples are horrible and our kids have terrible role models. As a culture we need to put up a more stable and responsible example to our kids.

December 18, 2008

It’s sad that your son is getting divorced again… but that doesn’t invalidate the idea of marriage entirely. Young people today tend to want everything to come too easily so they don’t want to work at a relationship – they expect it to be perfect all by itself and when things get a little rough they bail out instead of trying to fix it. 🙁 BTW, it’s our fourth wedding anniversary tomorrow, and we’ve been together for eight years! (huggles)

December 18, 2008

Oops… sorry, it’s your nephew, not your son – I misread! (huggles)