Change
I’ve been wanting to change myself for a while now, but I don’t know how. Honestly, I feel like most people dislike me because I’m weird, awkward and I don’t know how to really communicate with people. One time, I was volunteering to get experience for being a lifeguard, and it was 5 minutes before my first class I was going to assist start. I really got nervous because there were like 5 women in there, all looking at me, and I was stuttering like hell over my words because I had no idea what to say. That went on for more than 20 seconds, and finally said what I was trying to say, but I just got looks like I were an idiot.
I really just want to come in confident, knowing what to say and be open and not look intimidating to talk to or whatever. There are certain types of people I communicate best with, but this happens a lot of the time, I don’t know why, I just didn’t stop and regained my thoughts and said it. I do have social anxiety, and I want to overcome this. I’m homeschooled, so I don’t get to get out much and make friends. I only have friends in another country and only see them once a year. I do have their contact, but don’t talk to them.
I thought that if I just stuttered like that again, I could just stop, maybe say something funny about what just happened and just take a sec to reclaim my thoughts and respeak. If you have any thoughts, please share. Thanks.
You just need practice, that’s all. But it will be painful. You will make mistakes. Learning to deal with that is part of being human. Also, realize that there is nothing wrong with you. People are all insecure, and are not always kind. You said you are homeschooled. Are you part of any church or group? Any sort of community?
@catholicchristian Thank you. Yes, I am part of a church, but sadly it was taken down, so we do it online, and every now and then we go to the island and then go to another church part of the same congregation.
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It sounds like you are a perfectly normal introvert. I used to be the same way when I was in my teens and twenties. It wasn’t until I was in the my thirties that I realized I was an introvert and that was okay. There was nothing wrong with me. Introverts are usually deep thinkers and don’t feel comfortable in group situations. The worst thing for me used to be feeling awkward saying something that always came out awkward or not saying anything at all, which also felt awkward. It’s difficult, I know, and the thing that has helped me most is just telling people “I’m an introvert”. I’ve always been surprised by how many other people are the same way but they’re just better at pretending they’re not. If it’s any comfort, it does get easier as you get older. The key thing to confidence is knowledge. Study everything you can about your job so you know stuff, and that does help with confidence. As an older person who went through stuff like this, it does get better.
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