The First Consultation!

Zebra Parade….

Today I meet with the Doctor who will be inserting the Obera Balloon in me…of course that isn’t decided yet, so I am not sure what to expect today when I see him.

I keep asking myself, if I am actually ready for this… never mind wanting to fall pregnant and become a mom, I really want to be healthy and thin…although my husband doesn’t want me to be too thin…he always says he likes me being thick…and would be happy if I am happy as long as I had a Soda Berry body…


Often I google models and see what body I would love to have.

Now I know she is much taller than me, but I would love to have a body like Ashley Graham and to be as confident about my body as her..

See the source image

Now I am short…so I will never look quite like that, but a girl can dream right?

So I have just come back from meetkng with the doctor and it didn’t quite go like I expected….

Told him that I suffer from depression…told him about my 1 attempt and the many suicidal thoughts I have had. Told him why I have been so depressed, at this times…. he wants a letter from my Psych explaining my history with depression and and she thinks I could handle the procedure.

He then went on to tell me that if I have a hernia then he won’t touch me at all.

I told him how I would love to weight in the 50’s but would be happy with 70’s…he said I should rather aim for 90.

I walked out of the appointment without the exact answers that I wanted…but I am still sure about this procedure.


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March 9, 2022

I’ve always been really put off by the fact that society seems a woman’s body “curvy” or fat when they look like Ashley graham. That to me isn’t fat. It’s crazy the standards society has now. Good luck!

March 9, 2022

I get what you say about what the world sees as fat and beautiful. I am not going to lie and say that I don’t want to be thin snd beautiful because of what the media snd society puts out as beautiful, because I obviously do. But it sucks when I am unable to climb a few set of stairs without pausing to catch my breathe…or that I don’t have a regular menstrual cycle. And I hated it when I go to the shop to but snd outfit but because I need it in the biggest size available I have to pay and extra hundred or so rand. Being fat sucks in every way.

March 9, 2022

I’m sorry your appointment didn’t go as expected.  Do you think you will be able to get the letter from your other doctor?  I had an appointment today that didn’t go well because I really didn’t like the doctor…he was so rude and I left there feeling like crying.

March 9, 2022

@happyathome , I am sorry you left your appointment almost in tears. Mine wasn’t that bad, I guess he was just direct about this whole thing, which is serious. And I suppose I didn’t like him coming across as if I wasn’t sure…or maybe I just thought I would walk in, he would weight me, which he didn’t and I would leave his office with a booking for the procedure.