Today I meet with the Doctor who will be inserting the Obera Balloon in me…of course that isn’t decided yet, so I am not sure what to expect today when I see him.
I keep asking myself, if I am actually ready for this… never mind wanting to fall pregnant and become a mom, I really want to be healthy and thin…although my husband doesn’t want me to be too thin…he always says he likes me being thick…and would be happy if I am happy as long as I had a body…
Often I google models and see what body I would love to have.
Now I know she is much taller than me, but I would love to have a body like Ashley Graham and to be as confident about my body as her..
Now I am short…so I will never look quite like that, but a girl can dream right?
So I have just come back from meetkng with the doctor and it didn’t quite go like I expected….
Told him that I suffer from depression…told him about my 1 attempt and the many suicidal thoughts I have had. Told him why I have been so depressed, at this times…. he wants a letter from my Psych explaining my history with depression and and she thinks I could handle the procedure.
He then went on to tell me that if I have a hernia then he won’t touch me at all.
I told him how I would love to weight in the 50’s but would be happy with 70’s…he said I should rather aim for 90.
I walked out of the appointment without the exact answers that I wanted…but I am still sure about this procedure.