This one popped up this weekend. I’d forgotten all about it for years. 22 years to be exact.
What prompted this memory? I have no idea. A combination of things – Brandon coming in to get food Thursday night. A post on the NM FB Page about mother’s doing inappropriate things when a baby is born. I’m sure these two things combined led me to here.
I was 15 when I became pregnant with my daughter. Prior to becoming pregnant I was dating a guy named Brandon. Honestly, I have no idea how old he was 19 to 21? Somewhere in there. I can’t remember if he bought me alcohol or what. I just know he wasn’t in school, had a truck and a job. (He also later ended up in jail/prison for statutory rape charges on someone or another – younger than me. Of course, not due to me, my mother would never have pressed charges on ANY of the older men.)
Brandon was not the father. I knew this. 100%. I may have been 15 but I was fairly smart (not smart enough to not get pregnant but smart). We’d broken up long before I got pregnant. I’d had monthly periods since then. There was a zero possibility my daughter was his. For whatever reason, he was really wanting her to be his. For real. Who in the world wants a baby with a young teenager? Seriously, that would have only strengthened the charges against him. Idiot.
Don’t worry though. NM likes idiots. She prefers them. Maybe because they believe her?
So, one day I find out my mom is mad at my probation officer. Yeah, P.O. at 15 but that’s another story. Why in the world is she mad at him? Well, he’s also on the hospital board and she attempted to get my records and require testing or something – In my state, once you’re pregnant you’re parents have zero access to your medical records regarding your pregnancy. Essentially you’re an adult. He and the rest of the board supported my OBGYN fully for not disclosing any information she wanted. (What in the hell could she possibly want? My pregnancy was uneventful.)
Fast forward – I don’t even remember how I found this out. I think she slipped and told me. Maybe Brandon told me…
My amazing NM took my stupid ex and made an appointment with my OBGYN. They wanted information on how they could obtain a paternity test PRIOR to the birth of my child. At that point the only option was an amnio and my OB advised he’d never recommend it for something so trivial. He wouldn’t force me to do it. They had no options. Their only option was to wait for my child to be born.
I had no idea. Nobody told me they were even talking to each other or brainstorming against me. Found out far after the fact.
My theory – Brandon had promised her some fabulous role in my child’s life if she was his. Thus, my mom needed him to be the father in hopes of having some kind of say over my life and my unborn/newborn. So, she roped him into her story line and ran with it. Only hitting bricks. Thankfully my P.O. and the hospital board respected HIPPA and couldn’t be forced or persuaded by her to do what she wanted.
What a freaking disaster though. And seriously, how embarrassing. I never had any doubts on who my daughter’s father was. I knew. He knew. His family knew. My friends knew. Just those two in their messed up heads.
In the end – Brandon did manage to get his paternity test. FROM JAIL! I’m assuming *someone* helped him as he conveniently submitted his name into the pool when I filed for child support against my daughter’s father. (Pretty impressive he volunteered himself to CSED when so many run form it.) And of course, he wasn’t the father and the person I’d said the whole time was the father – was. Imagine that! He sent me an apology from prison for ever thinking he was – Maybe that’s when I learned of the scheme those two had going on and literally how far they’d taken it.
I should have ran for the hills then – But it’s really hard to run away, with an infant, when you’re 15.