I am become death, the destroyer of worlds

With this quote from J. Robert Oppenheimer opens my evening, although i’m writing this at 00:48 am, because I only have to study and work tomorrow, I should totally stay awake until late in the night and write something that will probably go unread for ages until some bored soul will stumble upon this and go something like “what a pile of shit”.

Why did this quote came to mind on this cold december night? I have no idea, I was chatting with a stranger online and it popped up in my mind, and so I went on youtube and listened to Oppenheimer say the sentence for a couple of time.

For those of NOONE that is reading this diary, Oppenheimer was the father of the atomic bomb, and he uttered this words after the first succesful test in Los Alamos.
What strikes me is his vacant expression as he says it, it’s almost like he knew what they were was creating, but he couldn’t understand it fully, not until he saw the bomb go off, and at that moment, that instant, he realized he was responsible for what is the most probable cause for human exctintion, Nuclar Overkill.

At the moment, on the planet we have enough nuclear weapons to destroy our specie many times over, that is Nuclear Overkill.
I am not going to start a rumble upon how war is bad, and we should stop it.
Humans have been at war since the dawn of time, there was a war between Homo Sapiens and Homo Neardenthalensis, which the Sapiens won, as proven by our existence in this very moment in time.

Back on the subject at hand, the quote.
What does this quote mean to me, absolutely nothing and everything at the same time.
It pushed me to start this diary, as a way to unravel this mistery.

I, as myself, am NOT become death, the destroyer of worlds, so why does it resonate with me so deeply? Is it because Humans have become the one thing that they cannot escape? Is this Nietzsche being right? Has humanity stared at its greatest fear for so long that the fear started staring back?
This thought is chilling, as I write shivers run through me, my skin crawls, and my hair raise, has Humanity become death because it cannot control it?
Are we human beings so afraid of the dark, that we became those who turn off the lights forever? After all you cannot be afraid of the dark, if you don’t know what the light is? You cannot be afraid of the lack of something, if that something does not exist.

So we became death, to end life, and without life, there is no more death, we have won the ultimate war against nature itself, by doing her job for her.

Is this the end of this diary page for today?
It could very well be, but I’m unsatisfied with this answer.
Not because I feel it to be untrue, but for the opposite reason, it makes me realize how short sighted humans truly are.
Like a children that play chest against the nature itself, it’s a game we cannot win, it’s a fight that we should not pick.

But why shouldn’t we? Why should I give up in front of nature?
We should out of respect.
We need to respect the end, not fear it, not push it away, we should, we need, we have to understand that death its not the ultimate enemy, death is just a part of nature, that we must accept, understand, and when the time is ripe, welcome it even.
What we must do is make sure that everyone makes it to the very end as well as they can.
I do not fear death, I do not fear whatever comes after, be it hell, heaven, pure nothing ness, whatever it is, so be it, I accept it, for it is integral part of the human condition.
And while this pointless fear does not plague my mind, my thoughts and energy are spent elsewhere, where they can be better used.

A perfect way to reallocate my thoughts would be an online diary that noone is going to read.

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