Thoughts
I have had experience with two different oncologists plus I went with my late sister to an appointment with her oncologist in England. One of the things that amused us was that in the first interview with my two doctors and the meeting with hers, we were both offered three choices and one of them was to do nothing. This morning I found myself thinking that if today I was offered that choice, I would take it. No, I am not suicidal. I am just tired of being an adult. I am tired of having to find out where the doctors’ offices are and having to drive there. I am tired of having to make decisions. I want to be looked after. Actually, I want Fred. Well, enough of this. I am not living in the moment. I am actually not even living in reality…
I have just finished reading Redshirts: A Novel with Three Codas by John Scalzi. I enjoyed it a lot but I would think a reader would have to be a real die-hard fan of the original "Star Trek" to really understand all the funny bits. Well, perhaps it makes the funny bits much funnier if one is a fan. Anyway, I did a lot of chuckling.
I have this great long list of things I need to be doing and I am sitting here looking at it. I seem to have no motivation. This is unusual for me. When things are falling apart around me, my inclination has always been to madly organize everything that I can. I think that perhaps my age and all that I have had to cope with over this last year and a half has drained away the little energy I had…
OK, I am going to finish here and, at the very least, do the following:
- make some fresh juice and drink it
- straighten up the smallest bookshelf in the living room.
- find a home for the things in the plastic box beside the book case
- distract myself by reading or watching something on Netflix…
"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." from the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew — Matthew 6:34
Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?
– Jalaluddin Rumi
If not me, then who?
If not now, then when?
You certainly have been through a lot of change in the past year. It adds a lot of stress to one’s life. I’m hoping that the intestinal disorder is just from stress and not from anything more serious. Sending good thoughts your way. (((Hugs)))
Warning Comment
I hope your doctor can give you some good news…I know the waiting would be hard for me. *hug*
Warning Comment
Many hugs. And I understand that wanting to do nothing and not having to be an adult all the time.
Warning Comment
This is a good entry….lots of truth up there. I admire your honesty. (((Hugs!)))
Warning Comment
I am trying to get back into OD as I have been absent for about a month. I am so sorry to read of your troubles. You are most certainly in my prayers. Although not your age, I honestly feel right now if I were told I had cancer I would not fight it either. The past year has been a hard one and I am just not up to a fight. I pray that I don’t have to make that decision as I know what my family
Warning Comment
want of me. No one can knock you for your choice though. It would most certainly be understandable with all that you have been through. Huge hugs my friend,M
Warning Comment
When it comes to cancer, doing nothing is as valid a personal choice as pursuing aggressive treatment, especially as an older person… I hope that’s not a decision you have to make, and that your problem is something the surgeon can easily fix though! (huggles)
Warning Comment
I think everyone can understand your feelings here. My daughter Margret told me once that sometimes she is so tired, mentally that she says to Bruce, “Bruce, make it happen.” Luckily, he will try to oblige. So, yes, that’s a big part of a relationship. I feel that your sons will be able to help you in that way. Hopefully. The son who lives near you has already helped you, thankfully. Here’s hoping you get some energy back. You’ve been through so many changes this last year or two. (((hugs)))
Warning Comment
There must be a Social Services Board in the area that could offer you rides to your appointments, at no charge, as well as other services you could use.
Warning Comment
I find that lately I have no energy for certain things. Maybe I am just burned out after visiting my friend in the hospital so much and he died etc. I just want to be left alone.
Warning Comment
*HUGS*
Warning Comment
Dear Patrisha, I have been away from OD for ages, and I am so sorry you are having to deal with oncologists again!! I understand tiredness, a desire to just be looked after, and a tiredness of being an adult. You have truly had one helluva year. What I wish for you is rest and peace of mind. You have earned these things, and no matter what choices you make, I hope Jake and any other important people in your life are understanding and supportive and HELPFUL!!!!! ((((((((huuuuuuugggggggsssssss))))))) Nicky
Warning Comment