06/29/2009
I slept with Elle on Saturday night. What the fuck is wrong with me? It shoudn’t have happened, but it did and it just felt right. It was like when we firat gor together all over again. It felt like how we should be, but I know it isn’t and can’t because of everything that’s gone on now, and then I told her it was a mistake. I’m such a dick.
I feel like cutting. I can’t promise I won’t.
I am looking into Liposuction though. Wipe the slate clean and start again. I’m looking at 3 hospitals and looking into their finance options. I’m sick of worrying about every damn thing that goes in my mouth making me fatter and fatter. I don’t care what I weigh as long as I’m thin. I don’t care what size or weight I am, Just the shape bothers me, I’m sick of being a blob.
that’s not your body up there… Hey, I hear you loud and clear….believe me. I’m not anti-plastic surgery, but I do think a better diet/exersize prog is all you need. You’re so beautiful. I think you need to move more…you don’t!!! It’s that…and the eating. I’m complusive in my over-eating…but I work my butt off in the gym. Try again before you take such drastic measures, love
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ryn: OK…so it is what it is. But honey, you can lose weight, I know you can. I was 300lbs…and did it ON MY OWN! And I’m lazy and unmotivated most of the time. You need to join a gym, get a trainer, eat better…join an OA group. I’m trying to get myself to one too… Whatever you choose, you’ll be supported, dear.
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Billy Mays was famous for doing informercials and basically selling things on TV.
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K – so I’ve seen pictures of you and I think you’re gorgeous.. but I’ll never judge ya for going the surgery route … I think if I had the money, I’d probably do it too – just suck up the problem areas. But regardless, you’re very very pretty! 🙂
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oooh… and bad you for sleeping with elle! 😉
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Hmmm….has your doctor tried to figure anything out? It’s odd that you do all that and don’t lose. However, I was once like that…until I started lifting weights. I don’t judge you, Kitten…just concerned. Don’t want you to do something so drastic. But I totally understand your frustration.
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Ryhn, Just thought of something else. I eat every 2-3 hours. Small meals. And each meal has a protein in it. I NEVER eat carbs w/o a protein.
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Liposuction is a temporary solution to a permanent problem. Sure, get the lipo but if you don’t seriously change your eating/exercise habits the weight will come right back and any doctor will tell you that.
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Biily Mays did infomercials… mainly about Oxyclean. That was his big thing. It’s your body, so you ultimately get to chose what you want to do with it. Lipo might not be the safest, most healthy way to get thin, but the choice is yours to make. I’m not good at dieting either, and my life has been a constant diet as well. But, if I could afford it, I’d do it. Just do your research!!!
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Oh, and shame on you for sleeping with Elle… =) I hope, at least it was good!! =) Everyone has that one last screw after they break up, So don’t beat yourself up too much about it. Please don’t cut =( Easy for me to say, I know. Do you have any other ways or outlets that make you feel better other than cutting?
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