Pretty sure DMB has a song called #41

someone I watch on YouTube  lost there mom today and the feeling was so palpable just watching him bc he literally has just found out.  Gives me friggin flash backs when i see someone else going through it.
before that I was listening to music just chilling and Ed Sheerans new song came on, Visiting Hours.

I’ve been fucking ugly crying  sobbing weeping for the past hour. Man what a way to spend my birthday! Thinking about death nonstop!

fuckin normal thing.  God I say I’m gonna start raining in this again and I wish I really meant it but as usual I’m going to try maybe it could be some sort of resolution for my 41st year on this planet.

at least my dreams of becoming a single cat lady have come to fruition after all I was afraid I’d end up in a loveless miserable marriage so you know , look at the positives I guess

There are no words for the gut wrenching pain you feel in this moment. It feels like it will never end bc your mind nor body can fully comprehend or accept the reality. It will never completely go away but truthfully it does start to subside and become more bearable. That’s the only solace I can offer you at the moment bc literally nothing anyone can say right now will make it feel even a tad less better. The pain you feel when someone dies I believe equally measures to the love you had for them when they were alive. I can see and feel you loved her infinitely. Take care of yourself, the way she would have. Let people help you right now, as much as possible and grieve, the next few days/ weeks will feel like its all a bad dream.

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