#sadness

Alright, start at Thursday. I had Sergeant Board, which I feel like I did terribly, my hand was soooooo visibly shaking when I saluted, but apparently...I got first??? But that's not the point. I was so stressed afterwards that I couldn't perform well at Choir-rific, and then I talked to my Valen...

Pottery Mockery Stalkery   Your obsession has consumed me and my depression has suppressed me If only you can see what I see So, you can let me go

I've kept a paper journal for years, off and on. I have boxes of them along with scrap journals and photo albums I've made over the years. I'm in the process of cleaning up my space as I have been hoarding things for years, probably trying to recapture days when I was happier. I need…

The quietness of madness, of sorrow, of otherness. How it spirits you away to a place of silent tears and roaring shame, terror of the future. Is it madness to fear what lies under my medication? To know what’s on the other side? To wonder from time to time? I just want to sob into…

So my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. I really want him to meet my kids. I have twins that will be 10 in May. I’ve expressed this to him many times and I feel as if he puts no effort into even attempting to meet them. I’ve brought it…

Today I burned 619 calories on the stairclimber. Then I came home and devoured fried chicken, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese with a dinner roll. My belly was flat, now it looks like it’s normal self again where it pokes out. I hate the food choices in America! Why can’t there be more salad ...

I have been contemplating the matter of Duality and Non-Duality. Did you know that the Absolute is Relative? As a matter of interesting fact, when I heard this truth, everything came to peace. There was no need to boggle on it further, as I felt the swift switch between the Two States as a Parado...

As the mother and wife in this house there will never be a Birthday party that I didn’t plan and execute. There will never be a Birthday party that I ever truly get to celebrate as I’m too busy ensuring everyone else’s happiness. There will never be a family vacation or weekend trip that I…

It would feel that way when you are just mirroring things back to me. I really am just talking to me. Still sounds better coming from you. The ruminating really hurts my brain. I hope it goes away soon. You really like to push buttons lol. I was talking to that ex of mine one…

https://open.spotify.com/track/7BLWdDxt4ex0EZPjfdaclZ?si=oSrByAhBQO6ZYaiQkhqi1g