On churches & being different
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I took Samara to the park today before therapy. It was a beautiful day and we had time that needed filled between school and speech.
She was playing with other little kids. (can I get a heck ya on that, my little girl playing with other kids!)
Well one of the moms comes over and starts talking to me.. Odd.. I generally do not talk to other moms at the park. Quickly though I found out she had motive to talk to me.
She was a baptist and it was her mission to make sure I was saved.
I was raised baptist, and so everything she said sounded so scripted. I had heard it all before. She tried to convince me that I was welcome to come to her church.
And then she said it. The one thing that all the church people say at one point or another.
"Oh my church is different."
Right…. because I am supposed to believe that?
I have been to many churches in my life, and yes they are all different in their own respective ways, but they are not truly different.
Their church is not the end all answer to christianity. Their church is just as flawed as all the rest.
They say things like my church is so friendly and we are all friends. I have found those who say things like that are on the inside of their churches circle and can not see what it feels like to be the outsider. No from where I sit you are all the same. In my experience church women are highly cliquey, they are all friends with each other and pray for each other, and have kids with each other, but I wonder if they truly are friends.
Church women are also highly judgemental. They look at a woman like me and just don’t know what to do with me. Of course look at me I am judging them.
Church people always seem to be so fake to me, their faith seems real to them but I am so off put by it. I know we are all damaged and have our own issues.
Perhaps it is me, my faith has never been alive to me. I have so many questions I simply have no answers too and no one seems to have any answers. People tell me to find answers in the Bible but I wonder with all my heart if we are truly reading the same book. I have read the bible and I only find more mystery in it than answers. I want the bible to say what it means, but I don’t think it does.
I sometimes wonder if the problem with church and faith lies in me, but then I look around and so many other people seem to struggle with it too.
Maybe the answer isn’t a "different" church, maybe the answer is truly in loving and acceptance? Maybe that would make it different?
So back to the woman at the park. I don’t think i will be attending her church anytime soon. It’s baptist after all and at the end of the day I was shunned from my baptist church as a teenager, and do not feel I can go back, but so much of what she said was just creepy. Like she was trying to get me to join a cult.
I guess her church is different right?
*All views expressed in this entry are mine and are not meant to offend or insult anyone of any faith group or church affiliation they are simply my experiences and viewpoints.
Blah, why can’t people be friendly without motives?! Next time tell a Baptist you are Catholic, that will scare them off…ha!
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I love your disclaimer, first off. Yay for Samara! And in my own narrow views, Baptist seem to be the most judgy and the most pushy with what they believe. Loving and Acceptance is that is most needed in this world today, girl. You nailed it.
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I struggle with my faith. Maybe that’s why he’s not answering my prayers…
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ryn: i dont think he’s old enough for preschool yet. What is the age for preschool? he’s 2.I dont know if could afford preschool here..hawaii will take you for ever dime you have. Im hoping by the time we leave here we won’t be bone dry..lol
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i know this would be kind of rude,but i would tell her i was in a cult or something crazy already and start preaching to her about how the cult is so much more better the church..or something like that.It annoys the crap out of me when people try and PUSH religion on other people.For all she knows you could be an atheist or a christian and already have a church or could be a diff dinomination.
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Gee it sounds like you ran into my neighbor!
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The Church (no matter what Christian denom or even non denom you go to) is run by people who are not perfect and sometimes cannot see past the end of their noses. I get creeped out by people who try to evangelize that way. I think that is the fastest way to get rid of someone is to try to preach to them in that way.
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I agree with your views on religion
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this whole entry is really good
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I can relate. I hate feeling like an outsider and in church they’re just as guilty as anywhere else. I’ve been reading you, sorry I haven’t been noting but I think about you.
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Ok, so why dont’ you ask me the questions and I will give you Scriptural answers. God has all the answers and I know where to look. Interested? Probably not, your mind is made up. Come on, try me. Objectivity is all I am asking. There are answers, you just havn’t asked the right person. Give a me a chance. I promise no judging or personal advice unless you ask me for it.
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Saw you on the front page. My father was a Baptist minister. I can identify with how you feel, however, it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that my faith truly became just that…mine. I am a strong supporter of gay rights and that isn’t always encouraged by the “church” but I know what I believe and I just try to love like Jesus. I would love to talk to you sometime!
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Go Samara GO! 🙂 Those are the people I tend to tune out. They have no idea who you are, where you are on your faith journey, but they’re sure THEIR church is the place for you. Gag. Me. You’ve got to find the place YOU feel most comfortable.
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Churches are nothing more (or less) than a bunch of people gathering together, so of course they are going to be just as flawed as we are individually. The church my wife and I attend fits right into that category, but I guess maybe one of the things we were attracted to in visiting them the first time was in that they didn’t pretend to be more than they were; human. Maybe you’ll meet someone someday who comes from a church family like that, and you’ll ask them about where they go instead of the other way around. Wouldn’t that be a nice change….
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Well my brother calls me a bible thumper,maybe I am *shrug* But never ever would I try to recruit a stranger to my church.None of my business if/what others believe.
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Random Nother: I think the Baptist Church is probably one of the staunchiest advocates of ‘tough love.’ It makes my heart hurt whenever I read that a person has turned away from seeking the peace the comes from spiritual enlightenment because of their negative experiences with a church (or church’s doctrine, or the actions/attitudes of people within a church, etc…). I’m so sorry for the pain and betrayal I sense came as a result of how your church treated you as a teenager. I hope and pray that as you watch your child grow, you can reaffirm your spiritual connection between Self and the Divine…they are much the same relationship.
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I grew up Baptist. I know what you are talking about. My dad’s family was all Pentecostal, and there was no sanctuary for me there, either. I spent the early years of my adulthood looking for a church that felt like “home”, and eventually gave up before I was even 30. Then, in my early 40’s, I found the Unitarian Universalists and from the first service I attended, it felt like “home”. Istill get that feeling, no matter whether I am at the first UU church I attended in CO, or the congregation I am part of here in Memphis…or one I visit when I’m out of town. Sometimes, you just have to keep looking…if you are missing that in your life. I personally believe that you can be a good person, and a good Christian, even if you attend no church at all. But, that’s just MY opinion, which, like yours, is not meant to offend anyone.
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I like your disclaimer 🙂 I really feel the same way about church. it is hard. And I notice the more people are involved, the more likely it is to get really freaky. I have seen this everywhere. I know people mean well when they try to convert people this way, and they often really believe it. But…I totally hear you on this.
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I think church is the anti-religion. There’s nothing that makes me want to reject the bible more, than hearing it’s words used by the people who regularly go to church.
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