Entry 5: worse

The controling us is getting worse. My bedtime is even sooner now. Last night my dog hurt her foot when it got caught in a hole of the lining of her dog bed. She’s okay, thank god. She was mostly just scared, but I had no idea at first if she was okay and I’m nearly crying and the bitch STILL had something to say to me about being up still. I was unbelievably sick over what happened to her all day. I had the worst migraine of my life, it hurt to breathe. I was so nauseous idk how I managed not to throw up. I laid there praying til I fell asleep. I was still sick all day, head and eyes were sore, nausea. But the only that mattered to that thing was that I was out of sight by daylight. And omg hours before that. We are not allowed to turn the bathroom lights off unless he says, but we are also not allowed to turn them on until he says. So we were screamed at because I turned the bathroom light off at 2am when I certainly had no right to do that. That’s his job. It was so ridiculous. It never used to be this bad with the controling and that’s really saying something. Just now, I was making coffee and my stomach hurts so bad so I wasn’t going to pour it just yet because I didnt wanna move. I was harassed because he wanted to use the microwave, but the coffee maker and microwave can’t be used at the same time because a braker will blow. So of course, I was forced to get up after a few minutes to make it when I wasn’t ready. After I was done, my mom said he could use the microwave. HE FUCKING SAID NO I’LL JUST WAIT TIL TOMORROW. He did it just to force me to do something. The stress is so bad I think I’m getting an ulcer. I spend my time listing movies to watch on tubi and other services I have. (If you don’t know about tubi, it’s a free movie/show streaming service and they have the BEST stuff. Well, I pretty much only watch scary movies and there’s so many on there.) I also order things online when I can so I have something to look forward to when I’m being sent to bed as the 25 year old woman I am. He can’t live much longer with his disease, but it just seems neverending. Anyway I guess that’s it for now. Just controling and stressing me out and yelling at us. So I’m fine beyond that. Mainly just pissed with a stomach ache.