Recent Entries

• Thank you letter to Max

  January 20, 2022

  I appreciate his honesty. Even this honesty of hating women was a bit too uncomfortable but at least he never betrayed himself. At least he didn't do things out of manipulation or to get love or attention. A lot of men lied to me about their feelings but Max didn't and that in itself should…

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• Max- the aftermath

  January 17, 2022

  I don't even miss him. The 1st time I broke up with him was 2 weeks ago and it felt like a limbo of being stuck with my feelings. I knew I wanted out. I knew I didn't love him or have feelings for him. And I knew that I missed him intensely. I don't…

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• The Break Up

  January 15, 2022

  I told him I don't wanna be with him anymore. We're both at a point where we don't care anymore. I felt it. The love is long gone. I stopped loving him a month ago and he stopped loving me the morning of Christmas when I canceled our trip and it broke him to pieces.…

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• Show me the meaning

  January 13, 2022

  There's no point to holding on to this delusional fairytale any longer. I chose it.  I stayed in it. And now I'm miserable as hell in it. I remember feeling so exhausted from the thought of seeing him- because it means that I have to spend 3 hours preparing dinner. It means I have to…

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• Max- gotta end

  January 13, 2022

  You can tell when someone bends backwards for you, waiting for your approval and in that instant you lose a little bit of respect for them. You know that they can and should get a backbone and that way you will love them so much more! But unfortunately they don't see that. They don't feel…

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• Tick Tick Bomb

  December 22, 2021

  Why did I feel the need to do that. The need to sabotage something good. But maybe I wasn't into it to begin with. Maybe I could only fly up so high in the feelings of love and after come crashing down like a phoenix that burned its wings. I'm craving for renewal and he…

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• Max

  October 20, 2021

  Do I love him - do I need him? Do I love the sex? Or do I just love the idea of him. Someone there to fuck me good once in a while and then just leave me the fuck alone most of the time. Isn't this what I wanted 6 months ago?? So why…

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• Ocean

  August 28, 2021

  The waves gather around with the powerful wind blowing behind them. Just like your enemy, they know when to attack. But they also move in a pattern so if you watch closely, you can move out of the way. The waves push the heavy rocks to the shore. The bring back souvenirs. And they take…

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• Shitty Tinder date

  August 20, 2021

  We talked on the phone for 2 hours. That means we have an amazing connection right? Wrong. Maybe if I didn't have a glass of white wine before our conversation then I would get a sense that we have none. Something about my mood made him feel comfortable. I was open. I was curious. I…

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