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Latest Entry

Missing him

January 21, 2022
Read over our past txts and BAM it brought the memories back. The sweet lil nothings, the "I can't wait see you's," the "you're  amazings" and the longing of wanting to be somebody's someone special. And no I"m missing him again. Except now, he feels nothing towards me so it's a shit spot to be&h...
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Recent Entries

  • Thank you letter to Max
    January 20, 2022
    I appreciate his honesty. Even this honesty of hating women was a bit too uncomfortable but at least he never betrayed himself. At least he didn't do things out of manipulation or to get love or attention. A lot of men lied to me about their feelings but Max didn't and that in itself should…
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  • Max- the aftermath
    January 17, 2022
    I don't even miss him. The 1st time I broke up with him was 2 weeks ago and it felt like a limbo of being stuck with my feelings. I knew I wanted out. I knew I didn't love him or have feelings for him. And I knew that I missed him intensely. I don't…
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  • The Break Up
    January 15, 2022
    I told him I don't wanna be with him anymore. We're both at a point where we don't care anymore. I felt it. The love is long gone. I stopped loving him a month ago and he stopped loving me the morning of Christmas when I canceled our trip and it broke him to pieces.…
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  • Show me the meaning
    January 13, 2022
    There's no point to holding on to this delusional fairytale any longer. I chose it.  I stayed in it. And now I'm miserable as hell in it. I remember feeling so exhausted from the thought of seeing him- because it means that I have to spend 3 hours preparing dinner. It means I have to…
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  • Max- gotta end
    January 13, 2022
    You can tell when someone bends backwards for you, waiting for your approval and in that instant you lose a little bit of respect for them. You know that they can and should get a backbone and that way you will love them so much more! But unfortunately they don't see that. They don't feel…
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  • Tick Tick Bomb
    December 22, 2021
    Why did I feel the need to do that. The need to sabotage something good. But maybe I wasn't into it to begin with. Maybe I could only fly up so high in the feelings of love and after come crashing down like a phoenix that burned its wings. I'm craving for renewal and he…
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  • Max
    October 20, 2021
    Do I love him - do I need him? Do I love the sex? Or do I just love the idea of him. Someone there to fuck me good once in a while and then just leave me the fuck alone most of the time. Isn't this what I wanted 6 months ago?? So why…
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  • Ocean
    August 28, 2021
    The waves gather around with the powerful wind blowing behind them. Just like your enemy, they know when to attack. But they also move in a pattern so if you watch closely, you can move out of the way. The waves push the heavy rocks to the shore. The bring back souvenirs. And they take…
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  • Shitty Tinder date
    August 20, 2021
    We talked on the phone for 2 hours. That means we have an amazing connection right? Wrong. Maybe if I didn't have a glass of white wine before our conversation then I would get a sense that we have none. Something about my mood made him feel comfortable. I was open. I was curious. I…
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