I am 31 years old and trying to rebuild my mental health and self worth.
* Married * Poly * Ace *

Latest Entry

Great places to cry.

September 10, 2021
When I was in high school I used to lay in my driveway and cry. I would just stare out at the night sky and cry. When I was twenty I would stand in front of the fridge and just scream into until I was crying, I would close the door and slide down it…
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Recent Entries

  • Happy place
    September 8, 2021
    Do people have more than one happy place in the head? Like when I'm struggling I like to close my eyes and picture somewhere very specific; I can hear the music, feel the cold air, and imagine I am there.   However, when I'm frustrated with someone I have a completely different happy place t...
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  • Intrusive Thoughts
    September 7, 2021
    About two years ago I had a thought. It was one of those thoughts you don't tell anyone about. One of those thoughts that in the moment are all consuming and feel like the only thing you can think about. I thought to myself, I hate myself so much that I don't even care anymore.…
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  • If you are Listening
    September 6, 2021
    Hello world, if you are listening, it's me again. I'm struggling with my depression as it seems like I always am. Today my child woke up before me and came running into my room to tell me good morning it's time to get up. Thank you for that. It's the really small things that help…
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  • Tell your Children to always call you
    September 5, 2021
    Last night I got a scary text from my husband. Today all I can do is hug my children and tell them over and over again that no matter what they do they can always call me. My husband ran out for snacks at 1am last night and texts me saying he'll be home late…
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  • Simple Good Morning
    September 4, 2021
    Sometimes we just need to hear it. So here it is... Good morning. I hope you have a good day today.
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  • Belated Birthday
    September 3, 2021
    It was my father's birthday a few days ago, it's one of the hardest days for me because he passed away 6 years ago. Every year it gets harder and harder to believe how long he has been gone and how much of my life he has missed. My children are both school age, and…
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  • Hard to explain
    September 1, 2021
    It's so hard to explain to you why I'm so quiet. Even though it's really simple I know you won't hear a word I say and there is where the problem lies. I trust to to take my secrets and you turn around and abuse it. Now I struggle again to be open and honest…
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  • Depression Game
    August 30, 2021
    Time to play the depression game all over again. Simply because I am easily discouraged. I used to write all the time on this site, I loved it, it fulfilled my needs. I remember there being so many different circles you could post to, but now there's only a handful. They all seem empty too.…
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  • Hello again
    August 30, 2021
    Monday, August 30th Sometimes the best way to move forward is to start over. My whole life is a mess and I know it can be so much better. Therefore, with a little bit of hard work and some pixie dust of hope I am going to forgive myself and start again... Hello again OpenDiary…
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