Recent Entries

• My Journey Came to an End

  October 26, 2025

  I can’t think of a title to this entry. Not yet. How do you sum up hard choices in just a few short words? I finally made one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I chose to donate my perfectly imperfect embryo to science. Against my own morals and values. Against my hearts wishes…

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• Dear Joe…

  September 26, 2025

  Dear Joe, Six-ish weeks have passed since I last heard from you. Since the day I opened your message, felt my heart break into a million pieces & chose to close your message without responding. Deleting them all. Erasing our chat history as if I was trying to erase your full existence from my...

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• From Situationships to Unicorns

  July 4, 2025

  It’s been awhile. It feels like forever. Yet, in the same breath it feels like I just blinked. Time passes fast. Too fast. My grandma used to tell me that when I was a kid. Quit wishing away time, it’ll just pass faster and faster as you get older, too fast. She was right. A…

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• She left this world for the next.

  April 13, 2025

  She’s gone. I’ve started this entry more than once. Yet, I haven’t finished it. Writing it down. Saying it. Finishing it. That makes it real. Then she’s really gone. Forever. They’re really gone. Forever. My heart aches. How do you say goodbye to someone who’s been with you for your whole damn li...

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• Struggling Badly

  January 17, 2025

  I’m struggling. Not just kind of struggling. Really. Struggling. Like just want to sit here and cry forever. Jump off a bridge. Take too many pills. Run away. Anything for this pain to stop. My heart hurts. It feels like it’s breaking all over again. Into millions of shards that had maybe started...

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• He likes me, I think.

  December 20, 2024

  Avoiding work. Nothing new. I just screw myself doing this as I have to work late and all that. Really, I’m listening to a training and need something to do while I listen. So why not write an entry? The amazing random info - Tom likes me. Like I think he genuinely likes me. I…

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• Just rambling

  December 16, 2024

  I remain my own worst enemy. Working on it. Definitely working on it. The thoughts I create in my head though. They suck. Basically at the end of every day I revert to the fact nobody could REALLY like me and I’m probably too much for most everyone and I’m pushing too hard. Sigh. I…

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• Overthinking: My Own Worst Enemy

  December 3, 2024

  The title says it all. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to getting inside my head and absolutely overthinking anything & everything. It’s so frustrating. You could say things with Tom have been going well. Thanks to my work schedule I had a ton of days off in a row from my second…

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• One Month of Dating or Whatevershipping Updates…..

  November 22, 2024

  I was so damn happy when I woke up yesterday. It’s amazing how quickly happiness can be shattered by a few simple words and the loss of someone amazing. *Sigh* - I was going to write a happy post tho. So I’m still going to try. I’m happy. I’m just sad too. But damn it…

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