Just restored a very old diary I started many moons ago. Brought back a lot of emotions and memories. I’ve learned and grown a lot since then. Still searching and always faced with the reality of life. All you can do is Pray and Hope ♥️

Latest Entry

Maybe …

November 18, 2010
My stories are too long ... they are uninteresting ... there problems are more important because Im insignificant and what happens to me does not matter. ...  because Im just here for everyone else ... Im the puppet ... its what I can do for youuuuuuuuuuu ... :(  Maybe thats&n...
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Recent Entries

  • Nothing Ever Changes only More Time Passes
    November 18, 2010
    I sit here and all these thoughts and feelings flood my head.  I want so much to connect and talk to someone that cares about me but there is NO ONE ... life is so disappointing. . . lonely . . . I do not know why it is so difficult to have that wonderful life that others…
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  • Im dying inside more and more each day
    June 9, 2010
    I feel my life has come to a halt ... Im sooooo sad and lonely ... the mess I have made of my life :(  I dont want to be alone the rest of my life. Im so hurt inside ... all I do is work and sleep Nothing is exciting anymore... I try so hard and…
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  • FAke FACE and empty Words
    March 18, 2008
    2/14/08 ... Valentines Day ... so romantic  and more !!!2/16/08  He created division once again but I did not realize this until today.Hes so good at deception ... how can he ... what makes him like this ... maybe we are a lie and he is still looking for someone else ???This is not the&...
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  • YOU SUCCEEDED – YOU WON
    February 6, 2008
    You never know what is really inside someone.  How they feel, what they think, what they want ... Who they really are.All I feel is pain all around me ...  I thought we had something really special.  I let him go because I thought that was best for both of us.  Our last night ...
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  • Falling asleep next to the man I love ….
    November 13, 2007
    I am numb ... I refuse to feel anymore ... Whats the sense ... to feel is only allowing yourself to be hurt ...I dont understand how things can change from one evening to one morning ... secretly takes my cell phone ... is upset with me because why ? what did I do besides…
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  • I am no where … I am no one
    November 10, 2007
    Im merely exsisting with no meaning, no future ... day to day I am a mom but Im not needed and not wanted by someI was a  daughter but my mom and dad have left me ...I was a  grand daughter but my grand parents were never close and they are gone ..I am a…
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  • Your Choice to BE or to act … I Want to be …
    November 10, 2007
    I dont know what my life is all about anymore... I serve no purpose...I guess its all about how well I endure pain and disappointment. I merely exsist but I dont know why.When I had my babies I exsisted for them...my babies are mostly grown up and have happy lives without me. My Austin I…
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  • I wonder what your costume was this year ?
    October 30, 2007
    I feel so empty inside ... my Austin ...At this time of night we would be going through your candy making sure it was all safe.  I would have pumpkin pie and warm and cold cider for you when you came home.  I would be hearing about all the fun things that happened and you…
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  • This Certainly was a Very Hallow – een :(
    October 30, 2007
    Certainly he had NO intentions to spending this Halloween together.  I should have realized this ... last night must have been the first night of many more to come that we will be a part. Who am I suppose to talk to if the man in my live isnt interested in being a part of…
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