Thursday 5/18/23

5: 40a.m.I’m above the dirt and blessed with another day in the nursing home. I was put to bed at 9 last night. I had one of the good aides. She took care of me giving me a nice sponge bath. I slept soundly with minimal pain.  The same aide got me up at five again she was very good. 

I did remember this one dream. I was in downtown Follansbee. Some kid called me over for a talk. He went on about my writing skills. He said they were pretty bad. In fact. In this dream I was taking an English class at Jeff Tech. I had to write a couple esseys for a test. I ended up getting an F on them and flunking the class. 

Other than that one dream I slept good. I feel pretty chipper this morning. I’m not in too much pain so I’m in a good mood. Looking forward to that all important first cup of coffee and orange juice. Life is good

6:56a.m. I had my coffee and juice. I called Chocolatechip but no answer. She is usually up by now. I sort of worry about her a lot. I hope she is ok. She was probably in the shower or doing laundry. I’m not going to let myself go crazy from worrying.

Breakfast is late. I hope they serve breakfast soon. I’m kind of hungry. I want to get breakfast out of the way so I can start reading my book At the Highest Levels. I read half of Chapter 16 last night. I want to finish that chapter and read as much as possible today. I hope to finially finish this book by the weekend. Next up is David Baldacci’s new book Simply Lies. I can’t wait to get started on this one.

Yay! Breakfast is here. I had two slices of toast,and scrambled eggs. It was pretty good. Going to call Chocolatechip one more time and read my book. It doesn’t get any better than this.

10:20a.m. I’ve been reading my book. I’m on Chapter 19. I’m at the Fiesta Room. They are having morning exercise I’m just sitting in my wheelchair waiting for coffee and donuts. I should take part in the morning exercise but I’m just too lazy. Besides, I’m at a good part in my book. I want to read.

12:52p.m. I finished Chapter 19 while at the coffee social. I had two donuts and two coffees. I also had a pretty big lunch. They served a brot , Sicilian meat with mashed potatoes and gravy, dinner roll and green beans. I was so stuffed I couldn’t eat all my lunch. I got myself back to my room after I ate.

I called Chocolatechip. She is in good spirits today. Chocolatechip said she did a lot of work. She has one bedroom ready for inspection. She also got rid of some old books and a lot of clutter. She started working at five and is done for the day. I said it is a good thing you got your work completed for the day. 

While at the Social I was looking at my Kindle Wish List. I would of loved to buy some books . I wish I had pre ordered two books while I had the chance. Stephen King is coming out with a new book in September called Holly. Then John Grisham had a new book in October called After the Firm . Both are for $14.99. Then Mary Higgins Clark had a new book out Where are The Children Now for $12.99 .

.Three of my favorite authors have new books  But the frigging nursing home has control of my check. I’ll probably never be able to buy a lousy book or anything else in my life. I’ll never be able to get used to this. I feel emasculated.

I started to get depressed thinking about this shit. Then I said to myself STOP! The thoughts went away. I also stopped making myself miserable by looking at those book I can’t afford to buy. I said to myself I have plenty of books I have not yet read. But these are my favorite authors.

Anyways I’m back in my room. I hope I don’t have PT today. I didn’t yesterday.  I’m thinking perhaps they gave up on me. That is fine by me because I think I’ve given up on myself. Losing control of my check was the final blow. I can’t even download my beloved New York Times or my favorite authors. I’ve lost everything 

Negative thoughts are creeping in this afternoon. I can’t let this happen I’ve got to finish that damned book At the Highest Levels by Michael Beschloss and Strobe Talbott. I have about a hundred pages to go and I’ll be finished. Then I can read that David Baldacci novel. I’ve got that to look forward to plus only a million other books. It is not yet overdose 

2:07p.m. I just got an email today from Credit One They wanted a payment. It is past due. If I had control of my check I’d gladly make a friggin payment. As it is I’m indigent. I have no money. I have no assets. I do not own the clothes on my back. As they say they can’t get blood out of a turnip so I’m not going to worry about it or even respond.

But that email was the final straw.My mood just took a nose dive. I feel like a real  POS because I can’t pay my bills. It’s not entirely my fault. Had I known the nursing home was going to take my check I would not of run up a big credit card bill! Oh screw it. Like I just said they can’t get blood out of a turnip. But I’m still depressed.

I never should of gotten started on credit cards. At first I would pay off the bill each month. Then it got out of hand thanks to the Internet and Computers. Stupid me I quickly maxed out two credit cards from buying too many books.  I owe over $2k and I’ll never be able to pay them back now. I’m asking myself now What in the hell was I thinking?

Oh well. I’ll try not to worry about it. What can they do to me? Nursing home has my check. I have no income at all now. I’m indigent Let them go after the friggin nursing home. 

5:14p.m. I was very upset a little bit ago but I’m ok now.. I’m going to chill out  until dinner.  For supper I’m having chicken cacciatore, rice, a dinner roll and a tuxedo chocolate bar. After dinner I plan on reading my book. I hope to get through another chapter before going to bed.

7:18a.m. I finished reading Chapter 20 in my book. I’m proud of myself because I read two chapters today. I m going to try a for a third tonight Then I can finish reading At the Highest Levels tomorrow. 

9:58a.m. I finished reading Chapter 21 in my book. I sure did a lot of reading today. I’m very pleased because I think I read almost three chapters today. This is definitely a record!

I feel like I’m bouncing off the wall from all that caffeine in my system. I have been in this wheelchair since 5:30am but I’m not complaining. In fact I’d like to stay up and finish my book.i have one more chapter to go. My Kindle says it will take about an hour to finish it. What the heck. I think I’ll give it a go.









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May 18, 2023

Have to look at the positives…you at least have lots of books on your Kindle you haven’t read yet.  That’s good!!

Credit cards can get you into trouble so fast.  We’ve been there before and so now have nothing to do with them.  It’s just too easy to get into trouble and get behind on paying the bills.

I’m glad you didn’t stay down and let it slide.  That’s all you can do and no amount of worrying is going to change the outcome so best to just not worry.

May 18, 2023

@happyathome You’re right about that but it is easier said than done at times.