Letters to Spydr

dear spydr, i have grown mostly okay with your absence, but there are some days that are, naturally, harder than others. we have entered the last month of the firsts. birthday. valentine's. the anniversary of losing you. it's been hard. the weekend was good. i had fun with The Crew, laughing all ...

dear spydr:   ...been a while since i wrote. i find it's easier to say what i need to when it's in the form of a letter to you. i also find i need to have my craptop serviced - the keys are sticking. LOL ahhh, life.   i wish you knew how missed you…

dear spydr... i have been avoiding you. i'm sorry. it's been a hell of a ....few weeks. there's so much for us to talk about, and some of it uncomfortable, but i don't even want to delve into all that right now. the only thing i came to say is....my god, i wish you were…

dear spydr... i have to tell you, lovey, that if anyone had told either of us what the world would look like today, we would have been incredulous. total disbelief, that much i can promise you. it's wild, how we've swayed from business as usual to this near-total-lockdown we're all experiencing n...

dear spydr... you know that movie, 28 days later? where everything changes completely in that short time? well. that's where we are. today is 28 days since you left us. the world outside looks NOTHING like it looked while you were here. it's a ghost town up in my area. i know lots of people…

dear spydr... it's late. well, or early, i guess. i know people who get up at this hour on purpose. shit, you were one of them, occasionally. (6am call, baby!) as is my usual habit, lately, i am not sleeping. haven't slept. whatever. i got a lot of sleep last night, so i guess maybe…

dear spydr... okay, first off, i am cracking up at some of our plans and memories today. it took until i woke up this morning to realize what i was putting together, but i've got it now, and OMG, that might be the best thing EVER. i watched Tiger King the other day - all…

dear spydr... it's been a couple of days. i know i normally write every day, but i took a couple of days to just....do me? i spent them basically half lit. not wholly lit - someone has to take care of mom - but half lit. mom got taken care of, i didn't feel so…

dear spydr... ahh, the sounds of lawn maintenance. i don't know why they've come today - it's wet and rainy, the snow is only barely melted, and there's nothing to cut, certainly. they have the blowers out, though, and they are BLOWING THAT GROUND...like someone put mulch down before the snows, a...

dear spydr... i'm happy to say that i have finally succeeded in finding a way to help your beautiful daughter somehow. i hate that i can't be IN FLORIDA to do or coordinate everything i can for her, but if i can even do one thing, from here, i'll be happy. and i think i…