Evil spirits

Here I am again. I am depressed and I also am angry, which sometimes anger cancels out the depression and causes me to like being angry more than being in emotional pain, if that makes sense. I allowed myself to be manipulated, many times, by someone who I thought was responsible and a friend. I made the mistake of not vetting her enough, and not taking her social media red flags seriously. She had mentioned financial issues before on her FB page, years ago, and I now see why she’s in the position she’s in now.

We met up over dinner, and we were in the same dating boat. The kind of boat that tosses and turns until you eventually jump off and would rather die than live another minute dating this guy. We had laughs and drinks and she seemed to have her shit together. There were a few stories she told that alarmed me: she blacked out on a date and forgot two whole days because she took too many of her meds. (What fucking meds was she on?!) and more bullshit about fucking men 30 years younger than her. She acted like this was the last of her wild woman days and she wanted to move out of her apartment. I was desperate to find a cheaper apartment myself, so in the midst of this conversation, she asked if I’d be interested in getting an apartment with her. I said no at first… but she insisted that I’d be saving money and could pay for my divorce lawyer. I thought about it and eventually decided it would be a good option for me since my rent was astronomical.

This was the worst mistake of my life. It is entirely my own fault, and it is only going to get worse. I am a non-confrontational person and I do not like to owe favors. I also find it hard to say no without getting upset. I’m being manipulated and I’m just letting it all ruin my life…just how she wants it.

Everything started out with me paying for a few drinks at dinner, then eventually, I was picking her up from work daily and she’d ask me to drive to a restaurant for dinner. I spent $20,000 in three months on dinner and entertainment because she would demand it. Next thing you know, I’m purchasing makeup and perfume, and even cosmetic procedures. I turned into her husband without even realizing it!!! Oh, but I realized it. When the bills came and I couldn’t pay.

What I didn’t mention is…I bought all of her bedroom furniture and the living room furniture, plus my own bedroom furniture.  She demanded that I buy it because it gave her anxiety for not having anything to put her clothes into. She previously lived in a total disgusting rat hole and her furniture was all worn out or had cat pee on it. I had to buy comforters and even a vanity so she could do her makeup. She’d throw fits if I didn’t do it. And.. she had a job and a boyfriend! What. The. Shit?

We had an agreement verbally that she’d pay me back for everything, but she was already behind on rent and I knew she was in over her head. She has no friends… no female friends call or text. She was successful at her job…at one time. I literally cannot believe that I allowed someone to use me like this. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing her to bring down a crucial part of my life during my divorce.

She quit her job in November, got a new one at the end of December, and was fired. Not surprising! Here we are in June…no job, no rent paid at our apartment. Oh joyous of joys! Keep with me next time to hear what happens next!


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June 19, 2021