They keep asking me why don’t I talk? Why don’t I open up? Why don’t I say what I think? I can’t. It’s hard; really, really hard. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that my thoughts will be too much for others. I’m afraid they won’t understand me. In fact, I know they won’t understand me. I don’t know how. I don’t know how to explain to them what’s going on in my head. My thoughts are confusing, worrying, and not so pretty and cheerful. I don’t like conversations, I don’t like people either. People questioning too much, they are unreasonable, and they always fail you in the end. I hate myself for thoughts like this, but I can’t help myself. They suffocate me and do not let me sleep. I feel lost, but I also don’t want to find myself. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to look happy. I’m tired of trying to keep myself alive. I would like just to close my eyes and disappear. I want to go to that darkness that calls me so much. I want to feel nothing more. Only darkness. Forever.