#lost

its been a day and you're all i can think about. you were my everything. you still are. i created so many fond memories with you. i told my family about, even my grandparents and you did the same. where did we go wrong? i know we are young, i know we have many years…

im a bit stuck i been going out here and there with this guy that known since middel school im a bit confused in how i am feeling about him we have a very good bond with each other after seeing eachother at the club . We pratically tell eachother everything and were pretty open…

I feel so disgustingly lost. everyone around me seems happy with their lives but for some reason I just can't get situated with mine. I have two loving parents and an adequate brother. I have a boyfriend that I am so in love with but I istill feel lost. I don't have any true friends…

I don’t want to trigger anyone. I do want to use this open diary as a safe place for myself and everyone else to share our honest thoughts. Mine aren’t always good but they aren’t always bad either. I am struggling a lot that’s for sure. I read back on my entries from 2007 and…

Woohoo. I was down another pound today which made my very happy and excited and able to get through the day. Yes started restricting again or rather not eating after 7pm and I’ve lost a total of 7lbs since May 11th. My bmi was at the brink of the overweight category so I needed to…

Don’t know how long my journey will last. It’s been a struggle for sure but has had its ups. I’m tempted all the time to just take chance, play Russian roulette with my life so to speak. It’s only takes me a split second to join the game. The outcome so far, I’ve been so…

So once again I’m writing in here to just let my emotions out so I don’t act irrationally.     I am not ok, not mentally well and I don’t claim to be. The one thing that urkes me the most however is the assholes who read my deepest secrets and thoughts and then feel…

When I was first a Christian, I used to read about the time between the Hebrew Bible ending, and the New Testament beginning. There were 400 years of silence. God had promised a bunch. The Jews were waiting for a soldier King that would come to bring justice to their enemies, and build a kingdom&...

Such melodramatic titles. I’m still hiding myself, sorry to repeat. My dark side just came out hard core 3 years ago and nearly fully blotted out everything good in me. And I’ve regained a lot of the good that was lost, but only by — muting parts of myself. It was the self hatred. It…

Today has been a difficult day. I feel like I am a hollow person and what was of me is fading away. After getting to work this morning, I logged into the joint account that I share with my husband. I noticed that he paid over $1,500.00 on his credit card gut only added $400.00…