A letter to my mom
it’s been 15 years since you passed. I think about you every day. When I was younger it never really registered to me that my mom would never be able to read me bedtime stories or comfort me when I got bullied. I’m mad at god if he’s even real, mad at the world. Why should I have to go through this? I just want to hold your hand and hear your voice tell me that everything will be okay. I will see you soon ma, love you forever and always.
I lost my dad when I was young and know how difficult it is to grow up without a parent around. I remember going through phases of anger at the world, at g-d, at my dad. It takes time and a lot of processing but I still go through stages of grief even though it’s been almost 30 years for me. I’m 36 now… he died when I was six. There’s a lot I wish I could go back and tell my youngerself. I think that if I could have dealt with my grief better in my teen years it would have completely changed my life but when you are young and going through it you don’t really think about the future as much. I know I am probably much older than you but if you ever need someone to talk or vent to, I am a good listener. ((hugs))
My biggest advice to you is to keep writing. I thought I would be a burden or buzzkill if I talked to my friends and I never felt comfortable talking to my mom. I just liked sitting and getting out my thoughts on my diary. I started this diary when I was 14 and it has saved my life. If you don’t do therapy or talk to someone, at least keep writing.
Next week my mother will have passed away two years ago.