Doing the work 5
it’s been a rough weekend. The good parts were having my youngest and oldest here. Caden loved his birthday gifts and I enjoyed that he did, then I went into the bathroom and I cried quietly to myself.
My self-esteem has gone to shit over the last few days, of course by my own hand. I just don’t think I can ever feel normal. I can’t keep a budget or a savings. I can’t even fantasize me ever having anything more that what I don’t have now.
That is great that he loved his birthday gifts.  What was going on, do you think, that made you go into the bathroom and cry after he got his gifts?  Were you relieved that he loved them or were you feeling like you didn’t get him enough?
@happyathome It’s the fact that he has to have 2 birthdays like this instead of a nice family, unbroken, party together.
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You are not on your own about not being able to BUDGET and KEEP A SAVINGS! I am glad that Caden loved his bday gifts. I am sure that he loves to have more than 1 birthday! I know I did when I was younger and got to have more than 1 birthday party. I am sure he knows the situation and knows that you try!
The last time I saw my Biological Father was back in 1994. And I made the effort to go and see him. Now apparently when I was in a coma, from the accident I was in, he did come and see me, but I have never saw him and the last time I spoke to him was in 2005 when I returned a missed call from him, wanting money from me. So in my eyes you are a WONDERFUL father. You actually care and love and speak about your sons and want to see them, regardless of your financial or personal situation. Besides my story, do you know how rare it is to hear of an African Father still in their children’s lives? Be proud of yourself and stop bringing yourself down. 😘
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