Seriously. I feel like I’m in the “hurry up and wait” game. It’s constant. Do this, do that. Now wait.
It’s been going on since our obgyn appointment in May. Yet, I’ve played this game for over a decade – nearly two.
We had our consult yesterday. I was so stressed about which game plan I wanted to go with – all for nothing. I need to quit overthinking and just let the process flow. Because it’s going to flow whichever way it wants. No matter what I do. I have zero control.
The doctor I met with was fabulous – She advised we’d do a retrieval and fresh transfer ASAP as a goal. I questioned the frozen – Yes, frozen are better for many people. However, not for myself. My levels are just too low. In my case, a decent stimulation and immune protocol are the most important. She anticipates only about 4 eggs and generally you lose some in the fertilization and embryology steps. Research states the best place for an embryo to be is back to it’s natural environment. Thus, for low eggs they want to transfer back at day 3 so it can continue to grow within the body and do what it needs to do.
I then asked about the priming protocols – Again, my numbers are so low she feels I need to begin ASAP and she wouldn’t want me to prime for anymore than 30 days which basically takes us into the next cycle and we begin. Boom. Just like that. I asked about the 90 Day Priming – Negative, we don’t have time on our side. Okay then.
So, that’s that. No more debating fresh vs frozen. No more wondering if I should ask to start now or wait a few months. Nope. Just jump in.
I feel like jumping in is putting it nicely – I’m being thrown into the deep-end and it’s terrifying.
There are soooo many things to figure out. Thankfully I only need one more test – And my OB was able to schedule and get me in ASAP next week on the correct day. So that will be done.
I had to have the priming medicine shipped right away. She said it would be about $700 a vial. Thank god I found the manufacturer coupon thanks to amazing facebook groups – $25 is all I had to pay today. If I need another vial prior to 21 days it’ll be $349. If I can get this vial to last the full 21 days I can have a free one every 21 for just the shipping. That’s huge.
I applied for three other prescription programs for the other meds. Should hear back in a few days if I qualify for ANY discounts. Hopefully I do qualify for something. Then a matter of waiting for the meds to all be in and to compare prices and figure out the best way to get them for the best prices.
And paperwork. So much paperwork.
Oh and finding somewhere that can monitor my cycle and provide stat results. This was seriously ridiculous. I was ready to jump out the window. It’ll be 420 miles round trip on monitoring day – But who’s counting. That’s the best I can do. And I made so many calls before that. Living in a rural, low population state is awful when it comes to health care.
All of this – For something that may or may not work. She said statistically it takes 3 transfer to get 1 live birth. *sigh* That’s a long few months.
It’ll all be worth it though. She or He will be amazing. Someday this will all just be a mountain of the past we climbed.
Tomorrow – Tomorrow my first meds should be here and the shots start. In May this seemed like a lifetime away. Now in 24 hours I’ll be finally doing the first shot which scares me the most. And in 45 days or less (most likely) we’ll have completed a retrieval and be transferring at about this moment.
Positive thoughts. Positive vibes. Breathing. It’s all going to be okay (once I figure it all out of course).