Entry 3: little bit about me?

She/her. 25 years old. No current friends besides my mom and sister. I was doing pretty good around people and making friends (never to the point of exchanging numbers) until the virus happened. Lost bodily strength from not leaving the house. Working on that.

I believe in fate and all that universe stuff. Any time I worked up the courage and started talking to a guy I liked from around my area they would end up getting a new job or going back to school and I’d never see them again. The last time hurt a lot. He looked really surprised I went out of my way to talk to him. I knew I’d fall in love with him if I got to know him. That was the last time I saw him. He didn’t work at the store anymore. After being there for at least a year. I’m still devastated honestly. I don’t mind not having friends that much. But I want my own family and a spouse one day. I am very lonely in that sense.

Crystals, manifestations, anything like that. I love signs of death because it reminds me abusers and predators can die at any moment. I disconnected it from anyone else somehow. Even though it is constantly happening to nice people I know and love and never my abuser. Well, he did die just not for permanently. The thing reminds me of Jason Voorhees. Never staying dead. Never staying sick. It’s freaky.

I saw a dark cloud above him hours before he died. I panicked because I didn’t want him dying in the house.

I love my animals, I’d be d3ad without them, literally. They keep me from doing anything to myself. And they all hate the abuser except for my one dog for some reason. She does run to my mom and ignore him more recently though. Which I like. But she has always loved him and me and my mom are grossed out. When she sits in his seat I joke and tell her we have to throw her away now.

I’m a writer and please do not think my writing is anything like these entries lol. I’m doing these fast with aching fingers and brain fog. I take my time with my actual writing. Ty for reading.