#mentalillness

Hi there OD, I used to write here, years ago. It's been so long, I don't remember what my credentials were, so I had to start again.   I'm an older transgender male (ftm). I'm not going to get into my whole background on that, at least not yet. I'm mentally disabled, and as I…

The quietness of madness, of sorrow, of otherness. How it spirits you away to a place of silent tears and roaring shame, terror of the future. Is it madness to fear what lies under my medication? To know what’s on the other side? To wonder from time to time? I just want to sob into…

I remember when they used to speak to me. Voices that were more like my family than my own family was. Not just cruel, but kind. Much like the Reverend Mother, I both loved and hated them.   I remember when Mother used to guide me. A voice from beyond, visions of brilliance and beauty.…

I just absolutely hate the way I am. Mostly my BPD. I have BPD because of trauma related issues. This has completely impacted my life. Every important adult figure in my life has left since I was born, starting with my parents. I live with my grandparents. Because of this mental illness, whenever...

Reality is hard. Trying to face it is even harder. I have my escape and it's not healthy. How do I feel normal? How do I face the fact I can't leave anyone behind. I just need someone there to hug me but I've pushed everyone away and there is no way to get them…

I am bipolar: it does not exist without me and I do not exist without it.  I was diagnosed the summer of 2007, and it did not occur to me, that we are inseparable until lately, 14 years later.   Bipolar and other mental illnesses have wreaked havoc on my life and self perception.  My current…

When you give it your all to help someone special in your life, who means the world to you, avoid someone toxic being in their life just to realize that…they themself were being toxic in yours. When you love someone you would do anything to enjoy time with that person. You would even excuse any&h...

9:13 AM I am sitting on my bed having honestly a pretty poor breakfast (half a sandwich from the night before) scrolling through all of your posts. So many lives lived, and being lived. It really puts things into perspective on just how large this world is and how many of us struggle each day.&he...