So much to do…

I have an audition tomorrow morning for Samsung Galaxy. It pays $800 but $2500 if they actually use the footage. Then afterwards I have a studio session with El DeBarge.

I met with a vocal coach today who looked just like Santa Claus. When I first met him he seemed very depressed and his home reflected that sadness.
But within the first 15 minutes, his whole aura changed. You could see his absolute heart and passion for music. I sang then he sang. He danced a bit and I laughed. We were like two little kids enjoying music. He only charged $40 whereas in Houston it costs $80 an hour. I never could afford vocal lessons. I lost my last vocal coach to cancer who would literally charge me $12-20 bucks for two hours. She was my second mother. I still pray to her because I think she watches over me. I loved her so much. I’m even tearing up as I am writing about her now…

I think I have a lot of spiritual guides that were humans that passed away. Michelle, a cousin my exact age who passed away from leukemia at 10, Marcus Kemp, a keyboardist who helped me prepare for my performance at the World Famous Apollo Theatre in Harlem (he told me to never give up on my dreams and run this race to the end like Usain Bolt), Guy who was a man I met over the phone while I worked for Amazon during the pandemic who encouraged me to quit smoking weed and he died of lung cancer and promised me he was going to beg God to be my guardian angel (we never met in person but he mailed me a diamond necklace that I wear to important occasions), Larry Williams who was the only famous person in my family tree who was never globally known but he was with Motown and went on tour with Lil Richie & wrote a song called Bony Maronie, Paw Paw who was my moms dad who was named Father Time in New Orleans (he started off as a janitor then gardener then clock changer to deacon of st. cathedral church), Lana who was my aunt who died of breast cancer and taught me to read at age 2, and finally Miss Cornelia who was my beloved vocal coach who taught me Italian opera….basically an army of people who all made a major impact on my life.

But back to this new vocal coach who looked like Santa Claus…At the end of our lesson, I commented on how beautiful his children were and pointed to one particular picture. He almost cried in front of me. You can tell he was fighting back his tears. He revealed to me that she died of a fentanyl overdose only 2 months ago.

I didn’t know what to say so I just apologized profusely and said, “she’s no longer suffering”. I wanted to hug him but we just met. I felt like I could really love this man as a father figure in that moment. I scheduled three more lessons with him. I definitely want him in my life. This man had soul! Turns out he knew El DeBarge and was in a band with El DeBarge’s main songwriter named Janet Cole.

Of course I shared this info with El DeBarge a few hours ago in a text. He enjoyed reading the text because he gave me the address of his studio session tomorrow. That piece of information was a sign that maybe it’s meant for me to be friends with him. Maybe I can encourage him to not self medicate….maybe we can help each other.

I saw a bio on YouTube about his life. It said Barry Gordy dropped him (and all his clients from his label) without giving him any notice.  One day Ell DeBarge was receiving paychecks from his label then one day he was left high and dry. Must have been traumatic…

That’s why I don’t want to be with a label. I want my fans to buy my music directly from my website. And I want fans like Selena Gomez. The kind that will rock with me. I was going to say like the Beehive but they are crazy. Beyoncé could literally murder someone and her fans will say, “well they must’ve deserved it!”.

I want the type of fan like Taylor Swift too. The kind that will make my music go to the number one spot. I never want to be a mean girl or step on anyone’s neck to get ahead.

I’m never envious anymore of anyone. I understand now why it’s taking so long. I feel it’s coming soon though(my dreams coming true). I don’t hope, I know.

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March 1, 2023

There you go. You KNOW. That’s the ticket!