Recent Entries

• Doesn’t give a fuck about me

  August 30, 2021

  I've come to realize I invest too much of myself into what is not available. That night at the bar as I looked you in the eyes I kept realizing I was dazed, zoning out unintentionally. I wasn't uninterested, I was insecure. You probably don't care and I can't be bothered by that. I don't…

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• We burned slowly like the embers of a cigarette

  August 30, 2021

  For a transient moment you were mine now we just exist in the same place at the same time but never crossing paths. I still want you but you'll never know it. I can't tell if it's that whole wanting what you can't have or just pining after what's familiar. I can never tell with you.…

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• Orange smoke moon

  July 20, 2021

  Driving around this old ghost town without you feels like I'm in silent hill, another dimension of the same place and it's a slow burn. Every route taken is another path through time to places where our hearts once collided. And for a moment as the hot summer breeze washed over me I knew things&h...

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• Supplanter

  May 11, 2021

  It's always the unattainable you want the most. As little as I know of you it was clear you were deeply wounded and not in that sad pathetic way either but the way it made you bitter and callous. I wanted to understand you, dive deeper into you but you were not going to give…

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• Rustling Trees and Sorbet Skies

  July 2, 2018

  Driving home from work is always the most cathartic as it's turned to summer and the sky is still setting in the northwest, the silhouette of clouds crowding out the faint sun as it turns into the yellow, blue and green. On this particular night, as the 4th of July nears yet again, I see…

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• Driving Home

  June 10, 2018

  The air warm and cold all at the same time rushing in through my car window filling my lungs with the smell before rain. Little Shadow by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays over the stereo, singing along my attention is momentarily caught by the headlights of my car lighting the tall cattail like grass th...

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• A Series Of Questions

  June 4, 2018

  That heavy feeling washing over me, I feel an ending coming now. This deep unearthing feeling tightening and restricting, I cannot avoid it anymore. Time a fickle thing and so unforgiving, nothing has changed. Distant now, it grows... who am I? Who have I become in this? It tears me all apart. So...

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• For tonight

  December 2, 2013

  3:43 AM I watched the snow fall under the streetlight so fine and airy like cotton. I sat alone longing for you to be next to me to share this moment of purity. Wishing to feel your gentle hand caressing my cheek as I stare lovingly into your eyes with no words just the soft…

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• A person or thing that closes or ends something

  November 28, 2013

  My jaw clenched keeping words from crashing out like the tide. I feel like Natalie Portman's character Alice from the movie Closer in that moment when Jude Law asks "Who are you?" and she screams "Nobody!" I can't tear this feeling away, it lingers on as I grow to realize...

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