#addiction

I was going through old emails and noticed I missed an email from the Diary Master back in August saying they had my diary available to restore. I guess I missed the email because August 2020 was a horrible month for me. In August 2020 I finally took my ass to rehab to deal with…

Dear Universe, I used to frequent this site, many moons ago, in the early 2000s, as a teenager. I cannot recall my username; therefore I have less to cringe at. Now I am in my 30s. I think I need to make this journal part of my journey, my therapy. Yesterday I underwent an assessment…

I used to always escape the sad pathetic life I live with drugs but haven't been using for two months. every second I would become sober my life would become hell. if I couldn't get my hands on it I felt like I was dead on the inside. it changed me for the worse. I…

Recently I've been pretty self destructive.  It's my fault and I shouldn't, because it's you who wins when I do nonsense like this. But I've been going through the facebook page you had when you were with *James and I hurt myself by looking at the posts between the two of you. The love you…

I want to be a positive person. I truly do. But recently, as I take on more responsibilities as a (step) mom I feel overwhelmingly negative and, honestly, depressed. I love this kid and I love the opportunity I have to be in their life. But I am having such a hard time not being…

Happy Christmas Eve everyone! If you want to help me in my journey please check this video out and subscribe to my youtube channel for more vlogging fun. https://youtu.be/IcwxqkPmCW4 ANYWAYS. I feel much better today, I've been somewhat depressed lately and I know things are going to work out. It...

It's weird just hard it is for me start going on anything. These past few weeks I've really gotten back into art which I have not done in a very long time. But this time around I have Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Youtube (fuck you, Youtube) to distract me which I didn't really give a shit…

So it's back on day 1. I've been drinking non stop since my last time. I'm tired. I'm sick. I'm over it. I need to do this. Day 1. Again.

Well i did it. Its 9.11pm and I'm getting tired from a day of boredom and stress and making myself distracted every 2 seconds with horrible chores. My partner wanted to go out tonight... so I had to tell him that I'm trying to quit drinking and I dont feel comfortable going out because it'll…