Happier w/out Weed

I had another glorious day yesterday. Although I didn’t sleep much, I got out of bed and bought a #5 from McDonalds(McGriddle meal) & drove across the street to pick up a cinnamon dolce latte from Starbucks. I came home and savored every morsel. I canceled all my plans for the day because I was not feeling my best after not getting much sleep the past two nights. But when I finally did get out of bed, I blow dried my hair and had a meeting via Zoom. My meeting was for possible representation for an acting agent.
I was the only female on the zoom accompanied by 5 other male actors. Weirdly, there were only two Americans actors in the meeting w/ me and the rest were Australian actors. I stuck out clearly, being the only female. She asked us if we had any questions, so I asked to meet her in person. She immediately gave me her number to call her(I was the only one she gave her number to), and now I have an appointment to meet with the agency in a week.
The agent said she worked with Micheal Jackson and Phil Collins in the 80s and 90s. She was a woman in her 50’s with really thick, long hair. A very animated woman who seemed like she could have been the life of the party at studio 54 back in the day. She bragged about how she knew everyone in the industry(eye roll). I secretly think she has a substance abuse problem with all of her incessant movements or maybe she was highly uncomfortable speaking on camera to strangers. Either way, it’s taken me years and years to get signed with an LA agent, and now I have a meeting to possibly get signed! Let’s see what happens…
I went to visit my parents after my agent zoom meeting. My dad had fried a ton of catfish for me. I was so surprised that he made an entire feast for me. I’m still confused as to why he made me so much dinner. I know he loves me but I felt overwhelmed with love. Even this morning, he told how much I am a blessing to his life.
I drove home last night, listening to a song by an unknown artist that I discovered on a film soundtrack. I replayed it over and over and was driving almost 90 miles per hour. I slowed down next to a police car, but luckily I was not stopped with a speeding ticket.
When I parked my car last night, I kept on saying, “thank you Jesus”, over and over and over again. Even when I got inside my apartment, I thanked the heavens for my place in the hood. “Thank you God for no roaches”, “thank you for this food that my father made for just me!”, “thank you for allowing me to see my family today”.
I know 90 percent of the reason I’m so happy is because I’m not working at this time. Any job I have that is not related to my passion, makes me depressed. I’m living off of the money I saved from slaving away from so many jobs I’ve had in the past. I know my money will run out eventually, but I’m relishing in every moment until that time!
However, I must stay focused; this isn’t a vacation. This is my time to work hard on my craft. I need to get things accomplished, so my time will not be wasted.
This morning I woke up from 7 hours of rest, so I’m feeling pretty good. Today, I’m going to go over my music. I have to copyright my songs, rehearse some dance moves, workout in the gym, take my vitamins, and stretch. I promised my dad to help him with a flight and rental car. And, I promised my mom that I would vacuum and mop the floors later on today.
Since I don’t have money to give, my goal is to be of service to others as much as I can. Before I return to LA, I plan to visit a nursing home at least twice to spend time and/or sing to the elderly. I love spending time with senior citizens because I love to here about their life.
On another note, the weirdest thing has been happening and the recording studio. My sessions keep getting rescheduled. I think God is rearranging something in the background (sort of speak). The recording studio is where I usually smoke weed during my sessions. I have nine hours scheduled in a two day period. During that time I have to record at least 4 songs and tweak at least 3. I’m praying that I accomplish all of my goals in the studio, and I will not be surrounded by weed at all. But even if I do, I won’t smoke. Life has been so happy for me since I quit….hopefully for good.

“Jesus, you know my heart. Please tell me what I need to do and continue to guide me in the right direction. If this is the right agent for me, then let me sign with her. Please let Matt do well with editing my music video. Also, grant me peace that surpasses all understanding and a strength that is everlasting. Amen”

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