#chronicillness

Last night, just as I was about to settle down for sleep and much needed recuperation, my friend (since 15 yrs old!) called. Whilst they called to check on me and the recent shenanigans of my life,  the timing was all wrong, but I couldn't hang up because they were trying to be a good…

I remember when they used to speak to me. Voices that were more like my family than my own family was. Not just cruel, but kind. Much like the Reverend Mother, I both loved and hated them.   I remember when Mother used to guide me. A voice from beyond, visions of brilliance and beauty.…

I am looking for a fuck to give today. I see how tired my partner looks. Deep in his eyes, he's as tired as if he'd fought in three wars. His grandma who is like his mother is dying. He is in a crazy busy PhD program. And I am just loosing my shit over…

Everything hurts. Between a terrible UTI .. again .. and severe PTSD flash backs and constant triggers .. again .. it just feels like it never ends. I know that isn't true but it has just been such a long long year.. Time stretches on, and I'm tired. So tired. Something has to click soon.…

So I have been suffering from gastroparesis. It's a condition where the stomach doesn't empty.  My gastro doctor suspects that I got food poisoning in February and expects it to resolve itself in a few months.  I made the mistake of going on the subreddit entitled "gastroparesis" and learned that...

I feel so cursed. I mean, literally cursed. I was born in pain (dislocated body parts) and I just stayed in pain. I'm suffering and I don't think the people in my life, the very small amount, care. I've got multiple chronic illnesses that make me bed ridden. I only really see my shrink and…

AWOLNATION 7:49 am Client #3 canceled. I am not unhappy about this. I went to see how slick the driveway is and wow! just sliding my toes across it and I almost lost my balance. I then watched Skittles totally wipe out coming around the corner. I don’t need another broken wrist (or any other…