Recent Entries

• Epiphany

  September 19, 2023

  How can anyone believe in me when I don’t believe in myself?

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• Sometimes bad is bad

  September 18, 2023

  I mean, cool is a rule, but… I have a friend facing significant issues in their marriage. The abuse is unquestionable, but since it is almost exclusively emotional, there is limited legal recourse, and what little that is available would only add fuel to the fire. My situation is not even fractio...

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• Mourning

  September 15, 2023

  This is probably silly. Tomorrow morning I will probably my wake up and regret posting this. But I need to post my feelings when I feel them. How Do you mourn losing something you never had?   I feel Ike its irretrievably broken   I hope not.

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• Prolific

  September 14, 2023

  There was a time, long ago (but not THAT long ago), where I would write multiple entries in a short period of time. My brain never stops. It is both a blessing and a curse. I find myself there again. With thoughts pouring through my head. Sometimes they make sense, and I am able to…

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• It’s all fun and games…

  September 13, 2023

  I have two thoughts, but having a free account I’m only allowed to post one post. So, I’m going to do my best to combine those thoughts into one post and see what happens. Life is funny.   We never choose for things to suck, to be bad, but they often get there anyway. When…

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• The Waiting is the Hardest Part

  September 8, 2023

  When I was younger, I felt like I needed to wait for the “right time” to do anything. Man, was I dumb. You are never as free as you are then. But I did my take action or make decisions. Not making a decision is making a decision. I knew that, but I didn’t change…

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• Names

  August 31, 2023

  So, I used to be someone. And then I deleted him from existence. This was intentional at the time. He had begun to take over, and I didn’t want to be him. But, when I dipped my toe back in these waters, there he was. He is my base nature, my Id if you want…

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• Broken like me

  August 29, 2023

  Only recently, through therapy, have I realized just how broken I am. I used to look in the mirror and say, “look at that asshole”. I seriously couldn’t see myself in a positive light. Something good happened?  Just wait, something bad will balance it out. Because I don’t deserve good things. Or ...

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• When you don’t exist

  August 28, 2023

  I’ve been writing in Open Diary since about 1998. As you can see if you look at my history, those old posts are gone. Where did they go?  Poof! they say the internet is forever, but I am proof that it is not. I had a ton of activity here and on other websites that…

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