Recent Entries

• 08/14/2012

  August 13, 2012

  I just cut myself for the fist time in a long, long time....the fucked up part....I don't even know the exact reason why. I just wanted to be the one in control of the pain again for a brief moment. I always thought that I would outgrow this bullshit. I thought that I would reach…

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• why..?

  April 29, 2012

  I'm not sure why it is necessary for me to feel this way sometimes... I really do get tired of it. My life is not that bad most of the time, and yet here I sit...thinking about stupid shit that is beyond my control, wanting to cry. And while I'm not as bad as I…

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• inability to cope

  December 17, 2011

  Sometimes I just need my Mamaw....I wish she could just be here for one day...one day would be enough to remind me of what her voice sounded like, and what she smelled like, and the way she hugged me, and everything special anout her that made her Mamaw. I just wish she could be here…

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• pain

  October 13, 2011

  Sometimes I really want to just hurt myself. I find my way into fucking stupid, destructive situations where I get trapped. I just want to not feel it anymore..... I don't want to be me anymore..... I'm so fucking tired of it all.

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• f*ing nothing

  October 23, 2009

  I'm f-ing.....stuck in this sh*t hole of a situation....I fucked up and got outta control drunk 2 days ago....I've apologized and apologized and I dont know what else to do... now my bf, who let me say is no saint is keeping me hostage. We went out last night (Fri) and were having a great ti...

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• update…i guess

  January 17, 2009

  doing alright right now...still having a little trouble with the whole anorexia thing, but I'm working on it. still have a wonderful fiance right now...i love him so much....and although i have probably said this before...this is the only time that i know i really feel this way....but he is the l...

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• good or bad?

  February 7, 2008

  Isnt love supposed to be something wonderful??? I always hoped it would be but now I'm about to lose my mind over it. I'm absolutely head over heels in love with someone. We have a great time together, we like a lot of the same things, we can't keep our hands off of each other,…

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• love

  November 14, 2007

  I love my boyfriend so much....i dont think that ive ever really loved anyone like this before. and i'm not just saying that like some little girl with a crush, its just so different with him. in the beginning we had this crazy attraction and had so much fun together, but i always kinda thought&h...

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• better day

  March 1, 2007

  the last time i wrote i was having a bipolar moment, and was incredibly mad over something stupid, but everything is cool now. I do still hate the little slut that tried to hit on my boyfriend, but part of the reason i was so upset is that i love him so much, and if…

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