#breakingup

I've barely eaten these past 2 days, it's good, no honestly it is. I haven't been particularly hungry in all honesty. I'm liking it. I'm liking the control, I'm liking the power, I'm liking the feeling when my stomach growls. Going to try and get through today without eating...call it good practi...

So we made up last night and got back together,?which I KNOW is stupid and sucks and yadda yadda yadda, but I really didn't want it to be hostile and unpredictable around the house, and I KNOW this makes me sound like a horrible idiot but I'm not, I'm just doing whzat has to be done and plus desp...

So today I felt supershit. I got up and my throat hurt, I have ear-ache, headache, my eyes are sore and superdry, my sugars keep dipping no matter what I do, I felt dizzy etc. I told Elle when she took George to nursery that I was going back to bed to have a sleep and…

  So, she came down to dinner, eventually after I'd called her like a million times and then when she did come downstairs she didn't even thank me....which is JUST basic fucking manners, however, I didn't rise to the bait like I would normally and sat down to eat with her at the table after ...

  So.. I went to Lucie's last night....I was onVodka, she was on Beer. She isn't going to get back with her ex this time. She's sure and she's had enough. We got to talking about Elle and Lucie's ex, they are pretty much the same. Me and Lucie are pretty similar too. So it…

So yesterday I told her. She finally, reluctantly agreed to give me time and space. Then last night she crawled in my bed for a cuddle. I gave her a cuddle and then she went back to bed. This morning she is quiet and refrained. I think she's getting the message, I think tonight we…

I don't really want to write...but I don't know what else to do. I just need a break. *Edit* So we've spoken. She wants to try work it out. I don't feel we can. I don't feel like I can trust her anymore. Not after last night's fight. I have made that clear, she's agreed,…