#pain

In this moment I can feel a void - it’s like stomach butterflies but it’s in my heart. My mind is desperately darting around for a fix- a nummy food, a juicy text, any hit of dopamine please... but I choose to refrain. This too shall pass. Is this because of my current life situation?…

Sometime pain can be a blessing or a curse it depends on the situation. Well my situation the last 2 weeks has been a curse. Chronic  pain I have lived with for years but this pain is beyond anything I could imagine. I have a very high pain tolerance for pain and pretty tough but…

I don't know why I'm so anxious about medication and  my body. I'm somewhat educated on disease processes and symptoms of them. I keep lying down and feeling short of breath, I am so depressed that I honestly can only tell you I know that by my (non satisfiable) feeling. I continuously search for...

I honestly can't remember when you were born, I just remember wanting to be an only child. From a young age I wanted all the attention I could get, and there you were all new and shiny stealing my mothers time. What I maybe lacked to see as a bestfriend, was a sibling that I…

I loved you when you first kissed me, in a hospital 80 miles away. You rubbed the space between my fingers, In my mind you would stay. I loved you, patrick, when our bodies connected in a halfway house 60 miles away you touched my body and my spirit In the depths of my soul…

I woke up at 5 am, turned over in bed to see Patrick facing me with his mouth wide open and a piece of dip sitting under his tongue, and on the roof of the spit bottle still half-fallen over in his hand. The most unattractive time in Pat's life is his slumbers.  I wish…

Let's spend a moment talking about the man who has been predominately by my side for an upwards of nearly two years. I don't know how or why I'm even thinking about sharing these things I ponder with you, but I need an outlet. I met him, in a situation that anyone could guess wasn't…

Last night, while mindlessly scrolling through my facebook feed I come across a local video gaining publicity. The video is of a woman, possibly overdosed in a car. The man taping her is violently shaking her, her neck bending back and forth while screaming "wake up you junkie fuck", and complain...

  On the verge of losing the only thing I had pride in, my job, I decided Heroin had taken a toll on me and contorted my life enough to reach out for help. I had been lying to everyone around me, saying I was in recovery, and had an addiction to the maintenance drug,…

I've been awake 24 hours or more, but let me recap. We were supposed to have a house party yesterday but I had to work so I got there late (yes, to a party at my own house). I stopped first at value village to find something to wear. Alas, I was lucky to find…