#loss

one year ago i spent this next two weeks saying my goodbyes to one of the only 2 women i've ever been in love with. She didn't tell me she was sick till it was too late and there was nothing that could be done. Seeing her in that bed at the hospice center is…

Hi. I haven’t written journal style in a very very long time. I told myself to write. I know I left this place on a very sad and abrupt note. It has been a horrible year + I hesitate to write here because there are ppl that know me here and who hate me now…

This post, the previous post and the one following are pulled from met very first posts on this platform.  I am posting them here as a reset and also a welcome mat to all who care to read.  I don't intend to rehash all these things in detail but at least it is an intro…

For some people exercising is an escape. For some people exercise is a fun and enjoyable pastime that simultaneously keeps them fit. For some people exercise is a really important aspect of their daily lives. I am not some people. Ugh! But really, who wants to run 5k when they could be chilling o...

So over a year ago, with almost two year clean from heroin I found myself facing a scale in a doctors office during my second month of nursing school... fairly upset. I felt, nasty, ugly and unwanted even though i had a man that at the time was nice to me and sexed me up…

I will leave My heart at the door I won’t say a word They’ve all been said before, you know So why don’t we Just play pretend Like we’re not scared of what is coming next Or scared of having nothing left Look, don’t get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I…

There have been multiple instances of my breath catching when I think of tomorrow and that there will be one birthday wish that I won’t get. I don’t want to birthday without that one wish. He may not have texted me or sent me FB messages or flat out wished me a happy birthday on…

  On the verge of losing the only thing I had pride in, my job, I decided Heroin had taken a toll on me and contorted my life enough to reach out for help. I had been lying to everyone around me, saying I was in recovery, and had an addiction to the maintenance drug,…

My coworker's boyfriend passed away today. He'd been sick, wound up being pneumonia, but we never expected this. She called out so she could deal with him yesterday and then she left almost as soon as she got in today. From what I understand, he had a lot of blood clots in his lungs. They…

I should be sleeping. Instead I was doing a little thing called late night reading. The weather is cool enough to let the windows open and my bedroom one is. I’ll hear random sounds.   Music being one of them. And it’s triggered a bout of sadness. Strange how music can trigger memories and emotio...