Matthew 7:17

A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit.

7 days away from the 17th and I will no longer be legally married. I have not been married in my heart ever really. I have always been a wife but never really had a husband. That is my perspective anyway. A healthy marriage was not something that was modeled for me growing up. I think I know what to look for now. I bought myself flowers today when I stopped for my wine and sushi. It’s a shamrock plant actually. Faith, Hope, Love. The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. As D Day approaches, I don’t really know how to feel. I have been feeling all my feelings for 7 months now, just learning to acknowledge that they are here, and they are real, and they are valid. Respond accordingly, I have had no crazy emotional reactions in 7 months which is so freeing.

Babygirl is staying her first Thursday overnight with dad in 2 months. He did his first overnight last Saturday. It just is what it is. I trust God to watch over her when I cannot be there. I went to kickboxing tonight and then to the range. I never thought I would be doing either of those things but love both. I am happy my ex got to see what a good shot I am with my 9mm, I hope he is scared of me now. Don’t mess with the mommy bear. My ex implied frequently that I was boring until the end of our relationship, I don’t know what could have triggered him to fall in love with me all over again. I had to make a list of all the things I enjoy doing to remind myself I was not boring. I am amazed almost daily when I see someone, and a compliment comes out of their mouth. I still get confused, are they talking to me. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me this much, I don’t know what to do about that. 1 week for that, and he can’t make a phone call.

Next week is a busy week, I have a massage scheduled, Mani/Pedi, Tabata and kickboxing, bible study, a full-time job and I think I am getting a tattoo. I have been thinking about it for 7 months. Oh and a dissolution Zoom Call. Super excited to take my stepson to a basket ball game. I don’t really like basket ball but he loves it and I love spending time with him. He is coming to spend the night tomorrow I think, I miss him so much. The bank is working on my ex husbands loan so hopefully my old house will be sold soon so I can really start to be free from my old life. If God could just make my stupid amount of student loans disappear that would be fantastic. I put it on my list. He keeps showing up in other ways, I believe in miracles lol

I forgot about BreatheĀ  at Church I jus got my buddy assignment, I am excited about that. I have ticket to see Pretty Woman the musical with my Bestie this month too! Who is boring here?



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