#children

How? How could something so amazing turn into something so heart breaking? You were everything to me. A 5 year marriage. To the absolute love of my life. Everything was perfect. You truly opened my eyes to what I thought love truly was. You changed my views on having children. And you gave me the...

Sitting at my desk starring at the bright screen like I've done all the nights before and it's 12:34 a.m. Days go by and every morning as the time passes by I keep seeing 12:34 a.m. No minute more no minute less. Days go by an it's 12:34 a.m. again. My guardian angels are trying…

So I bought a funny thing yesterday, and it's a huge one. Now, the name's really simple- it's just a joke, but it means something to me. I think I'll stay home until Christmas. But this is kind of the first of our life right now.. and there's kids waiting for me. It's not like…

every day really is perfect. the memories I so desperately cling to are shrouded in mist and gold when I think back on them, never noticing the aura of beauty encapsulating my present moments. the ones that will eventually become memories. everything feels so profound when looking back, you know....

i had a different and light topic for today but after writing the post - Truths and Empowerment - here yesterday, i feel i should talk more about the topics discussed in that: Emotional Abuse and Family Scapegoat Syndrome. Disclaimer: This post is a brief account of both the topics and is based o...

I know I mentioned now previous post that I have had 2 miscarriages now and appear to be unable to have children, and the theme of children has been weighing so heavily on my mind. On the 2nd miscarriage, I didn’t find out until I was in the doctor’s office at my 10 week ultrasound.…

Recently I've been pretty self destructive.  It's my fault and I shouldn't, because it's you who wins when I do nonsense like this. But I've been going through the facebook page you had when you were with *James and I hurt myself by looking at the posts between the two of you. The love you…

Let me preface this by saying I don’t like when people are all the time sad, all the time angry, all the time complaining. Yet I am all of those things in this diary. I like to curate my emotions, for myself and for others, with an appetizer, the main entree and a subtle dessert.…

Wow, Open Diary. Hello old friend. It's been 8 years ... 8 years. It's a lifetime in terms of changes to my world. 8 years ago, I was 28 with no kids. Today, I'm 36 with 4 children. My wife and I are in our 12th year of marriage. Oh, the things I didn't know…

Aaah, I was so happy things have been going so well, and I may be making something out of nothing, but Brad really upset me yesterday. I got off work at 6pm and was told my Gail (girlfriend) that he had to go to work early. I called to make sure he got there okay,…