#ptsd

I was going through old emails and noticed I missed an email from the Diary Master back in August saying they had my diary available to restore. I guess I missed the email because August 2020 was a horrible month for me. In August 2020 I finally took my ass to rehab to deal with…

Dear Universe, I used to frequent this site, many moons ago, in the early 2000s, as a teenager. I cannot recall my username; therefore I have less to cringe at. Now I am in my 30s. I think I need to make this journal part of my journey, my therapy. Yesterday I underwent an assessment…

I had my first dose of Remeron last night. I slept until 1pm! So dozey couldn’t concentrate on anything, feel guilty I didn’t get any work done at all. I take klonopin and it’s like it just cancelled it out all together. I don’t think I’m going to take the Remeron again. I feel better…

I’ve been taking clonazepam for almost a year now. Doctor said my grieve  and ptsd has turned into depression.  I was on depression medication ten years ago and ended up on a form three with multiple suicide attempts. I’m scared to go back on them but my doctor says it will be ok and my…

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. All I knew is that I wanted to be a Mom. I got pregnant. It was twins. I found out laying in the hospital bed for pains in my side. No one was allowed with me due to Covid. I was in shock.…

Ah, its been years since I've journaled. Literally years. Its going to be nice. I need a place for my thoughts, so Im back. My head is a spinning around and my anxiety is high. This man that i allowed to hurt me emotionally, physically and mentally is driving me up the fucking wall with…

I’m going through a process. Finding memories, losing memories. I’m not sure anymore. I sit here and nothing is suppose to be in my head but I hear him so clearly- “Shut the fuck up.” ”You look so ugly when your cry.” ”You’re pathetic.” ”Get the fuck out of my face.” There’s so much. I…

I am finding out so much more about myself  through therapy and introspection. One thing I’ve uncovered through research  and talking with my therapist is that I was misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar 2 disorder originally after only sitting down with a psychiatrist for 30 min. Now I fin...

I feel like I am finally moving forward. The things that used to bother me don’t anymore. Even having a particular person like my photo on Facebook with their ghost account didn’t phase me. I thought it was odd that they used their real name and were being so obvious, but quickly realized they we...