#weight

So over a year ago, with almost two year clean from heroin I found myself facing a scale in a doctors office during my second month of nursing school... fairly upset. I felt, nasty, ugly and unwanted even though i had a man that at the time was nice to me and sexed me up…

I said I'd walk on the beach today and its 8.30pm and I havent. I dont want to walk on the beach I want to go to bed because I am up at 5.45am for work. But I am going to do that take heed of that old Chinese saying. Feet before brain. Im not…

I've always been overweight, starting from my teens (I'm 47). By 2014, though, I had gotten up to 350 pounds. I'm 5'4". I couldn't even walk down the hall without getting out of breath. I did not fit in anything besides our living room couch. I hated how I looked. Hated myself. But I could…

So, Here we are again. Staring at the screen again.  lololol My child is now almost 13 years old and has discovered x box and kindle and mobile phones. Also there is a new addition to this household!! D is an all black boisterous kitten at just 9 months old the little one has  already…

Just a few updates :) Things are still good between me and Paul...getting a little tense again but I think there are many varriables at play there. We spent a few weeks apart (not in a row) this summer and when we were reunited it was feelin good (as they sing!). But now we have…

Thanks for the comments :) Makes me feel like I have permisison to get all giddy and enjoy being pregnant! At work I have to hide it and its harder than it sounds. Im not showing or anything, and luckily I'm not throwing up, but I manage a restaurant. So my coworkers and even my…

I miss drinking wine by the fireplace in winter. I miss your hand on my leg in the car. I miss kisses on the forehead. I miss giving those looks across the room that only the 2 of us recognize. I miss staying up all night talking in bed. I miss walking down the street…

I am trying really hard to get back on the healthy-bod wagon. We only have 2 more months (ish) until we move to southern Florida, where, in case you didn't know- its a million degrees you can't hide in sweatshirts everyday. I've been starting small. I used to work out 5 days a week, eat…

I have been so busy and stressed that I haven't written. I guess after we went to court at the end of July I couldn't write anymore- I just put my head into my work and into the present and shut off my creative side for a little while. Not because of that directly, but…

I have about a half hour before I have to get out of my office and close down upstairs, so I thought I'd write. i don't know exactly what to write about, but my head is all fucked up lately. I was all excited to get some new clothes, something i havent done in a…